Monday, June 02, 2008

Seeing the Lighter Side of Life

Change is inevitable. Humans are versatile to change, but more often than not, we are unprepared. Because most of time, change doesn’t benefit us AT FIRST. At least for me…

I’ve been a victim of change a lot of times. I hated it. It took me some time, effort and emotional investment to get used to something, only to be taken away by something called CHANGE.

Have you ever heard the song “Constant Change” by Jose Mari Chan? I love that song. It always hits me whenever I hear it. Why oh why… couldn’t we keep time from moving on… and oftentimes when I’m about to call it home, we’d have to move along…

But all this longing for the past have to change. Little did I know that change is best enjoyed when you decide it yourself. Yes folks, I finally decide to take the turn this time. A major change for me is the healthiest decision ever made.

I don’t mean a change of style or a change in taste. It’ll be the same old me. Same old kid who LOVES anime, Japan, toys and… But this time I will THINK DIFFERENT.

A change of perspective, that is.

I’ve been staying home for the longest time ever since I went to college and it really is true when somebody says there’s no place like home. I’m learning and starting to realize day by day that there are so many things around me to be happy about. It’s not as lonely as I thought. I do have a life… here at home.

I can’t believe how such a loser I’ve been the past few years. I was always thinking of my failures and nothing but failures. I created half of my loneliness. I gave up on a lot of things. I wasted a lot of time. But this has to STOP!

It’s not like I’m dying or anything. Life is short but there are still so many things to do, to prove.

I’ll make my dreams come true. I’m gonna show everyone that I am strong. That I am a WINNER. I have to believe that I am born to win this battle.

Some people might think that I am doing nothing important right now, but I am. I have plans. For now I just want to keep this to myself. I don’t want to set any expectations. I don’t want any support this time. This will be my battle ALONE.

I don’t want to be a hypocrite and say I’m over the loneliness. It has always been there. It haunts me every now and then like a phantom shadow especially when I’m all alone. But I’ll be strong this time. I’ll get used to this again. I’ll let HIM carry it for me. It’s time to take things as light as possible. To leave behind what I don’t really have, and enjoy what I have. To enjoy life!

As I’m writing this entry, I’m listening to “Dreams” by Cranberries, and it just feels so light. From now on, I’m gonna love my life. I’m will do my best. I’ll NEVER BE A LOSER. NEVER.

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