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Wow, I can't believe it'll be Christmas soon, where did 2012 go? December proved to be a hectic month. Too many events and celebrations popping left and right, birthdays, weddings, Christenings, and not to mention Christmas parties. I wish I could make myself available for every happening, but here are the ones I've been to.

December kicked off with my friend's (Chris) birthday and the advance screening of Rurouni Kenshin live action film. My friends and I were lucky enough to get passes for the premier, from what I understand, there was also a cosplay competition prior to the screening,  it was nice to see RK cosplayers again. My friends urged me to put on my Seta costume, but I was not into that kind of stuff anymore, there's just no inspiration to drive me to do it. There were also people from Hero TV. Inside the cinema, a funny thing happened to me and my friends. Before the film started, a man approached us and asked if we could give our seats to Myrtle of Pinoy Big Brother (PBB) Teens and her company. He suggested that we take the Hero seats at the left most part of the theater. I hated that spot, there's no way I'm taking that seat, but it sounded like we SHOULD give way, Myrtle seems to be some kind of a VIP, all I could say was "whut?". Good thing my friend Nagi was quick to respond in a reasonable manner, she said "I don't think so, these seats are not tagged as reserved, maybe Myrtle can take the Hero seats instead", and with that, the man went away. Whew. At the time, I didn't know who this Myrtle kid is, I thought she was a cosplayer with a status like Alodia's. But she turned out to be a local celebrity. I was wondering though, why ask us? It's not like we have the best spot, we're almost near at the far left side of the balcony. Do we look like some kids who'd suck up to a PBB star? Sorry man, I'm not trying to be rude here, but we're just old timers wanting to enjoy a favorite classic anime.

Now the movie part... I must be a shame to the RK fandom, I hate to say this, but I actually slept at the middle of the film! I wish this would not make me less of a fan. I've mentioned that I have very low expectations on the film, and it's not like the film sucks (I watched the film again during the regular showing). Let me explain okay. First of all, let me tell you the stuff I liked - it's visually pleasing, the action scenes are very impressive and very close to the anime, the cinematography, what can I say? WOWZA! I like how The actor who played Sanosuke is so in character, I just wish he's taller. I like how subliminal Chief Uramura's presence is. I have a neutral feeling on the storyline. It's understandable how hard it is to justify many arcs that are condensed into a two hour feature film. The producers mixed up the storyline of Takeda, Jin'eh, Saito, Sano and how Kenshin got into Kamiya dojo, I'd say it's not bad, but again, nothing fresh for me here. I'm actually rooting for a new storyline and new characters. The only new character introduced here was the guy whom I thought to be Hanya all along. But when his mask broke, he turned out to be someone I've never seen or is it just my rusty memory playing with me? But it's definitely not Hanya. I have mixed feelings on Takeru Sato playing Kenshin, I could tell he's a good actor. I love all of his fighting scenes. But Kenshin's character, how he transform from a harmless rurouni to a deadly hitokiri, I'm just not convinced. His oro? Nah, he needs to try harder. I don't like how Kaoru turned to be a cutesy betsy and modest, oh that scene where she stumbled upon a stray cat and cried "whoa neko-chan?", not Kaoru at all. Don't get me wrong, I like Kaoru, but I really felt her character was not justified in the film. Overall, I would still recommend the film to fans and non-fans alike.

Moving on to other stuff, my parents and I went to the Elton John concert last December 8. It was a real treat despite being in an older crowd, come on, it's Elton John. The tickets were quite pricey and we can only afford the general admission rate (P1000). I was worried that I may not enjoy that much, I know that being in the farthest  part of the dome has the least advantage visually and auditory speaking. I don't care much about visuals, I went to listen anyway. But being in the general admission crowd was not hindrance to enjoy Elton John's music. He still has this powerful voice even after 40 years of being active in the music scene. He was in his signature shiny blue coat, it had something written at the back, but given our spot, I couldn't read what it was, even with my binoculars on. The show was opened with The Two Cello, they were Croatian cello players. I've seen them perform on The Ellen Degeneres Show, and they were really great too. I noticed a lot of foreigners in the crowd too. I was not able to track the number of songs Elton performed, there were a lot of lesser known songs which kept the crowd a little silent. But whenever perform his classic hits, we'd all jumped up and join the singing. Some of my favorites were Crocodile Rock, Rocket Man, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, Candle in the Wind, Daniel and Nikita.

Elton John performing Nikita, sorry for the poor quality of my phone cam

After the last song, as usual, the audience cried for more. When he went out on the stage again, he signed autographs for the hungry fans before starting the encore. Oh those lucky VIP ticket holders! He first performed "Your Song" which got the couples dancing slow.  When he performed his last song "Circle of Life", I was surprised and amused to see my parents get up for a slow dance too. The lyrics of the song doesn't feel appropriate for a slow dance but Elton John's piano did set the mood. It was a wonder why some of his greatest hits were missing from the play list -Skyline Pigeon, Can You Feel the Love Tonight, Sacrifice, We All Fall in Love Sometimes. Still, it was a perfect evening. I hope he goes back to Manila for another performance, next time though, I hope I'll have more funds for a better spot.

Doesn't look like it, but they were passing it off as a slow dance hehe

The next event I went to is an art exhibit opening. As part of centennial birthday celebration of Philippine National Artist for Visual Arts, Carlos "Botong" Francisco, Ayala Museum presented Botong Francisco: A Nation Imagined, an exhibit of some of unseen works of the muralist. I got an invitation to attend the opening because I signed up for membership for the museum. I've always wanted to check the museum because of its vast collection of prehistoric artifacts, but I always knew that a day is not enough a four-storey worth of exhibit, thus I opted to to get a membership which gives me an unlimited access all year round. I was right anyway, the first two visits I had were not enough to digest everything. I was after the perks too - of getting invited to exhibit openings, it's always better to get ahead of the public, and I'm after the cocktails too hehehe. There was a short film directed by Peque Gallaga to complement the exhibit and provide a cinematic  experience of Botong's works. I love how his paintings come to life, how it gives one a glimpse and even make one share how Botong imagined the Philippine history and culture. I highly recommend art lovers to see this rare exhibit. It runs until March 31, 2013.

These are some of my favorites:

I'm grateful that they allowed to take pictures this time, when I went there for the Sharaku exhibit a few months ago, I had to risk getting kicked out of the museum when I got excited and broke the rules when I saw a Sharaku interpretation using music box knobs and a Takashi Murakami print. The security warned me, and now that I remembered, I thought I should share them here too.

      

On some personal event, a friend of mine got married last week. Lee and Nelson tied the knot in Taal Vista Hotel in Tagaytay. It's the first time I ever attended a civil wedding, the judge who officiated the ceremony was a female too, and I thought, great another first time, I get to see a woman do it too. She only discussed the responsibilities of husband and wife, and made sure that bride and the groom knows and consents what they were getting into. It was short and concise, it should be a good thing, but I realized the lack of spiritual proceedings somehow reduced the solemnity of the event. My friends will have a church wedding sometime in the future. For now, to many other couples of today's generation, civil wedding is a practical way to get hitched. My most profound congratulations to Lee and Nelson, I wish you nothing but the best of marriage life.

The next event is yet to come, sometime this month, but I thought I should mention it here to give me an excuse to post a photo of my soon to be godson, Chase. Here he is :)

Chase is Sherry and Lester's son, he's now on his 5th month, so he's still cute and kind hehe. He is very precious. His Christening is on December 29, another obligation that I'm happy to take. I hope we become friends too, I'm not good with kids. Man this wedding and Christening talks make me feel so old. I better get back to my Christmas shopping, ugh!

Things on my mind lately...

Roka Salata and Skolatina... Yummm...

Christmas shopping, when will I do it, what am I gonna give to the kids?

When will I ever have the courage to get out of this comfort zone and just quit? :(

Music box... view master scenic reels... ugh the longing!

I need a haircut!

...

...

I just realized it's World AIDS Day. Incidentally, I'm wearing red shirt, socks and underpants. Simple coincident like this confirms the universe conspires with me. I don't have anything sensible to say, but I'd like to take this moment, to pray and send my thoughts to all the people harboring this horrible disease. I never stop wishing and hoping that I'd live to see the day we combat AIDS. A world without AIDS...

So it's December, 24 days to go till Christmas, 30 days to go till 2013, but then will we ever get there? Cause, you know, it's 20 days to go before the end of the world, according to the Mayan calendar or to the people who have too much time on their hand and "decoded" the calendar. Sometimes, I really envy those kind of people. Meh!

Here's something that's ending today, the social network feature of Multiply. They're going to be this online marketplace all the way. Really don't care about that side of the site, if I have to shop online, I do it on ebay. But all the pictures, music, videos and blogs uploaded will be gone. They were nice enough to give an advance notice months ago. So today, I logged in for the last time. My Inbox showed 1 unopened PM and 1 unchecked invitation, sent years ago. I didn't bother to click on them. Instead, I started to do one of my favorite uses of Social networks, STALKING. I browsed my contacts and backed up the blogs that amused me, and I meant I copy-paste them somewhere. Don't worry y'all, I'll never pull a Tito Sotto, I swear. I just wanted them as a keepsake. Just be flattered that I'm a fan of your writings. I didn't bother to back up my photos though, I have the originals in my hard disk, but this is one of my favorite picture in Multiply:

Whee, look it's my Sputnik sweetheart! This was taken in Nido Science Center in MoA. That's Sputnik y'all., a replica that is. It's the very first satellite launched into outer space. I kinda envy the people who lived at the time of Space race between US and USSR, I felt like there were a lot of milestones in a short period of time. I mean in 1957 they sent the first satellite, then they sent Laika (the first dog in space) sadly she never returned -sad face-, they sent the first spacecraft, pictures to the moon, Yuri Gagarin, the first space walk by Leonov, and then by 1969, we were on the moon! In 12 years we made that much progress, it's been 40 years since the last Apollo mission, we should be in Mars now. I'm not complaining okay, we have  the Curiousity rover which made its historic touch down in Mars last July 5 (PST), and we have those really cool live stream videos of the ISS crew doing Q&A's and ISS tour, in HD! Then yesterday, I learned that there's ice in Mercury. It's amazing! I hope I'd live to witness a successful manned mission to Mars, and even other planets.

Tomorrow, is Chris' birthday and we'll be seeing the (Philippines) advance screening of Rurouni Kenshin live action film.Old and new fans alike had anticipated the local screening of Ruroken for months. I'm probably one of the few whose not caught up in the hype. I mean I AM excited to see it in the big screen, I will see it no matter what, but let's just say, I have very low expectations. Truth be told, I didn't even follow the development when I first saw the trailer. I'm still a fan okay, I still love Kenshin very much. But, you see, it's my favorite anime/manga of all time. I watched the first airing of the TV series and the reruns, the OVA's, the animated feature film, a million times. Okay that's exaggeration, but it's a lot I swear.  I've read the manga including the Kaden special, the Yahiko spin-offs, and many more doujinshi (including BL). I feel like I have explored every angle of possibility in the Ruroken universe. Now I have not read any review nor synopsis of film, I can only say from what I see in the trailer that the live action will follow the storyline of the manga. I am skeptic on how the film will make it fresh for me. I am also not in favor of the choice of actor, I mean visually. I'm not exactly rooting for a close physical resemblance, but, I don't know how to explain this, Takeru Sato just don't radiate that Kenshin aura. But we'll see, with all the low expectations I have, there's a higher chance that I'd enjoy it, I mean, less expectations, less disappointment.

In lieu of the Kenshin screening, I believe I haven't shared this here. This music box should bring nostalgia, it plays "Sobakasu".  Please enjoy :)

Happy 159th Birthday Kenshin!

Kanpai to the greatest anime hero ever created! Today I decided to feature some of Kenshin’s lines that really moved me. I got them from the manga version. Here they are:

Now I will deliver Tenchu (NOTE: yes it did move me!)

As long as I can remember what human warmth feels like

I didn’t mean to deceive you, but, it’s just something that I don’t want to talk about

It’s an important swordman’s nature to know his own strength as well as his opponent’s

Watch me from the depths of hell I say… If deep within I’m a hitokiri, I will control myself to the end

Both the Ishin and Bakufu Samurai were forced to fight for their own beliefs. However it was not a war about who was right, but a war about what was best for our country

Someone I parted with in Tokyo said the something like that to me. But I never expected to hear those words in Kyoto

I can’t die! There’s no reason for me to die here. Someone is still waiting for me to come back. Nothing is stronger than the will to live

Which side was right is up to the future generations. What we can do is believe what we know ourselves to be true… and fight for it

Life is many things… A journey but not a separation, a beginning not an end. It’s disheartening but that’s the way things are

On that cold, cold day, two feelings were frozen – grief and hatred. And after 15 years, the frozen feelings start moving under one smile

Okay there has to be more but I can’t seem to find my old files hehehe… Did these words touch your heart? They will if you read the manga. (“,x)

Kenshin turns 158

I just want to greet my favorite anime character a HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I’m currently not in the mood to update my blog, too many forlorn thoughts inhabit my head. To my dear readers, please bear with me…

There’ll gonna be a lot of changes from now on. Just to mention, Neil, who’s my sole otaku-fellow in the office has resigned since the 5th of the month. I felt both happy and sad for his departure. Happy because he’s finally set off to pursue his dreams (unlike me who’s been in slump for the last 2 years!) and the fact that that’s one slacker down hehehe. Sad, because I’d lost a fellow otaku, of course I’ve considered him as a friend. We talked about a lot of things usually about Japanese and anime stuffs. He’s always enthusiastic to come with me in various anime events. Though I sometimes get annoyed at him but those were pretty petty. Oh well, life’s like that as Kenshin puts it, life is a many things, a journey but not a separation, a beginning not an end. It’s disheartening but that’s the way things are. On the other side, Gel came back and will be staying in the office at least until September. Now the office had gone “wild” again with her around. That is to say, our jolly moments are back.

I’ve also started saving money. I opened a personal savings account using the saved money I had from a piggy bank hehehe. I find this amazing because in more than 3 years of work, I haven’t got a single saving! Not even a cent! I could only consider my toys and anime collection as investment, but there was never a single thought of selling them in the future. Also I’m determined to get my own place! Anyways, I just thought that since I have no direction in life, I might as well start saving… perhaps everything should start there…

I’ve just finished reading Shogun by James Clavell. It’s a story of an English ship pilot, John Blackthorne who got stranded, together with his ship and crew, in feudal Japan. At first he was treated as a captive but eventually when his value (for his knowledge) were realized by Japanese, he eventually turned into a samurai and served the greatest daimyo as a hatamoto. I spent almost a month reading this 1152 pages book (with a font size of 8!)… and my further readings of non-fictional books about Japan revealed to me that this book is actually loosely based on the rise of Tokugawa Shogunate. Interesting huh… Right now I’m currently reading Gai-jin which is a sequel of Shogun, and this time tells the life of foreigners in Japan during the early 1860s… which seemed to me, if I would refer to the timeline of Rurouni Kenshin, was the start of the civil war –Tokugawa shogunate vs. the Royalist, rather the fall of Tokugawa and the start of Meiji Restoration? I’m not really sure since my knowledge of Japanese history is very limited… I’m still learning (and enjoying) hehe… I tried reading a brief biography of Tokugawa Ieyasu, but I have to admit that I find it hard to keep up because of so many unfamiliar figures mentioned… that means I have to start from 1. Maybe I should start with the aboriginal Japanese –Ainus hehehe… oh well. I just want to share that Shogun captivated me! And because of that, I haven’t watch any anime yet since Honey and Clover season 2 (and that was a month ago). And speaking of ship, I might as well continue watching One Piece, I have 200+ episodes to go hehehe…

Enough about books and anime, I just want to share about this old friend of mine seeking counsel… after not hearing from him for quite sometime, I was surprised to hear him ask “What do you do when you’ve done every possible thing you could to overcome heartache? When you’ve tried everything to get over the past yet the sweet memories keep coming back? And the more you try to forget, the more you remember.” They say it’s just in the mind… willpower… whatever you may call it, when it haunts you, it will get you no matter how you try to runaway. Doshio old friend? I’d say, then just let it be… What makes you happy yet you can’t get it… then just keep on dreaming till you feel like waking up one day. But of course, I could only tell this to him because I know he can take it. I find it silly but knowing what kind of person he is, it might work out fine. And of course, these are just one of the things that I learn from anime and manga hahahaha!!!! I told myself, realizing, that a day may come that I might find it hard to distinguish reality from not. Oh well I’m sorry if I couldn’t be of much help because honestly I’m just as troubled as anyone else in this cruel world. May God bless these lonely souls…

Good news, I finally got that Kenshin toy! The one that I have been looking for ages. And who would’ve known that it would actually find it’s way to me bwahaha! There is a newly opened wrestling stuff stall at UN Times Plaza. They sell WWF videos, PS2 games, and –drumroll- TOYS! Very limited though, they have action figures of wrestlers, McFarlane toys (the best!), and… to my surprise, they have the Kenshin action figure released by Yamato, Inc. that I’ve been desperately seeking for, well, ages! Darn, I’ve searched every toyshop I know, but I never found any stock. Plus, when I finally found one in Comic Alley Megamall, it’s not for sale. I persuaded the CA salespeople a million times already, damn, I even bid 5000 bucks (but that was just a bluff hehe) for Kenshin but they just wouldn’t sell it. Anyways, it made me felt incomplete, that I have Kaoru, Tomoe, Saito and Okita, but no Kenshin. During the time that it was still available (around 5 years ago), I haven’t got this enthusiasm for toys yet. My concentration back then geared on manga and Artbooks. Going back to the wrestling stuff shop, when I asked the saleslady if the toys (all of them) are for sale, she told me that for now they weren’t because the owner hasn’t put a price on them yet. At least it gave me an idea that they’ll be for sale in the future. The next day, I went there to check again. This time, I inquired specifically for my target. Heavens must have heard me, the saleslady gave me the price! it’s significantly cheaper than what I expected but I have to buy the whole set. I inspected the toy though, and they are not really on their best condition. I'll give it a grade of B. Still, I think it won’t be a lost if I buy it with the price given. The original price when it was still on the market was about 650 per head. When it got obsolete, toy sellers sold them from 2900-4500 per set, but incomplete, usually Kaoru is missing. And that was 2 years ago, and they were actually second hand, mind you. Now this shop which is few steps away from my work place is selling a set of 3 (Kenshin, Saito and Sano) for P1500. Surely, heavens have heard my plead hahaha So I wasted no time and asked the saleslady to reserve it for me. heck, I even told her to put it out of display hehe. Anyways, I have it now, all mine! Ureshii! Bad news is, it’s totally out of my budget… so… I’m super broke again haha… oh well…–sigh- I even sacrificed paying half of my dues to Citibank. I promise to pay it back on the next payday though.. At least it’s another obligation fulfilled to Kenshin hehehe. Just 7 more RK manga, and I am fully free of Ruroken obligation. I mean, at least I would’ve fulfill my promises to him ahaha.

By the way, I just want to share, last week I watched XXX Holic anime series and movie. Hmmm, considering I have read the earliest volumes about two years ago, I think it’s acceptable if I can’t remember if the stories featured in the anime were the same as the manga (is it?). But I can confidently say that the plot is the same. The white Mokona had a cameo in 3rd episode, but only as a CHESS PIECE. Hey CLAMP fans, where have you seen that? Yep, the CLAMP no Kiseki publication. Damn, I’ll get one of those when I get my 13th month pay! A must!!! Okay, here I go again...anyway, I really loved the movie XXX Holic: Manatsu no Yoru no Yume (Midsummer Night’s Dream). The wish-granting-in-replace-of-an-equal-value shop of Yuuko received a request from a middle-aged (around 30+) woman to help her get into her own house, because her key won’t fit in. That is to say, she can’t enter the house. Prior to that, Yuuko received an invitation coming from the housemaster of the same house (everything about XXX Holic is weird, which made it really interesting). Together with Doumeki and Watanuki, Yuuko went to the house with the purpose of complying with her customer and granting the mysterious invitation. When they got into the house, aww, make that mansion, they were surprised to see that there were other people invited. They are actually collectors, and the invitation actually said that they’ll be able to complete their collection by granting the invitation. The collectors who came believed that the housemaster conducts an underground auction, and everyone believed that they can get something to add up or complete their collection. Now this really sounded interesting for me because I am a collector too. Now I wouldn’t want to spoil my readers so let me just conclude the synopsis with the information that the housemaster has a significant LINK to Yuuko’s middle-aged female customer. And let me add that XXX Holic movie was linked (finally) with Tsubasa Chronicles: Tori no Kage movie. Once again, let me say, I loved it. This collector theme thingie really aroused me hehehe. And the animation was really superb, it kinda reminded me of Spirited Away. Moral-wise, it reminded me of my “unhealthy emotional attachment” to my collection, which is actually turning (or might have turned) to avarice, which is really bad for my spirituality. Honestly, I love my collection that much that I give so much priority to it than my health, basic needs, and even family and friends. Bad huh, I admit that this is something that I need to work on. But I hope, people around me would understand that my collection is my primary source of motivation to work (just work okay). It’s the main thing that keeps me stick to my job, even if I’m not happy anymore. I’d always tell myself, you can’t buy what you want when you lose your source of income. Haayyy… the dilemma of poor people like me… anyway, pls. don’t condemn my collection because they have done so much to make me happy.

It’s Kenshin’s 157^th birthday.. well the man’s dead okay, rather, his character… Ruroken’s over, yeah… but he lives on my heart… he lives on every RK fan’s heart…cheesy huh, but let me be, because it’s for Kenshin… anything for my no. 1… character… haha, Let’s see how much I remember Kenshin a.k.a. Hitokiri Battousai, Shinta (his real name), blood type’s AB, height 5’2”, weight-around 50 kg (hey isn’t that overweight?), of course, birthday June 20, 1849…. Hmmm, occupation - former assassin under the Chousu Clan, Ishin Shishi government royalist, Kamiya Kashin Ryu Dojo free loader, and of course, rurouni hehehe… and yeah, he’s Kid’s no. 1 lover (in her dreams haha). Likes and dislikes, killing (yes, he’s paradoxical)… hmmm, he’s very friendly with kids (and Kid hehe)… kenjutsu technique: Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu. Now let me dissect this a little, HMR variations: Do ryu sen, Ryu Tsui Sen, Sou Ryu Sen, Kuzu Ryu Sen, Kaguzuchi, Amakakeru no Hirameki (the strongest)… weapons: katana and kodachi (Tokugawa era), sakabattou (Meiji era)… trademark: red headed bishie with cross scar on his left cheeks… special abilities: reading one’s emotion, god-like speed, very good with household chores hahaha.. hmmm… okay that’s it! I’m the worst Kenshin fan breathing! If I were a “true” fan indeed, my 40 GB hard disk capacity wouldn’t be enough to write and store all the things about Kenshin, good or bad. But all I know is that this man, had inspired me the most. He has this uncanny skills in kenjutsu, but he’d always keep this meek personality, low profiled yet highly respected by high officials, selfless, … well there are more about him, too many in fact, but what makes him different from any other SHOUNEN manga/anime hero, well, at least for me, his height and very young looks, and of course his ability to do household chores! Why, I’m such a couch potato at home, I would want my partner to do ALL the chores for me. (Hehe, hey applicants out there, that’s another requirement). But seriously speaking, the greatest inspiration I got from Kenshin, is seeing his life as something not his. We’d often argue with people who’d remind us to live wisely and appropriately, we’d often reason “this is my life, you don’t give a shit how I live it”. But in fact it really was never our own… aside from the fact that it’s something lent from UP above, it’s also to those who love us, who care for us… I admit, there have been times that I’d feel it’s not worth living, but the thought of my family and friends shedding tears for me, is even worse… the thought that the loss of my life would cause a heavier burden to people I care, tells me to keep on moving… that was something Kenshin figured when he was completing his training with Seijiro Hiko…well that’s just one, there are just so many things I’ve learned from RK, things that I’ve been applying to my life… if my decisions in life makes me a stronger person, I’d have to thank Kenshin… to the best anime character there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be (hehehe, guess where I got that), HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! –ummmmwahhhh- (“,x)

in the rain

It’s has been rainy for almost a week now… I’m inspired or rather sentimental during these moments. Rain reminds me of so many things. I had a lot of good memories with the rain that I’d rather not tell for I might get too emotional. But during these rainy days… I miss Soujiro! Yes! My Archetype in the anime/mangalandia hehehe. Anyway, it’s a common knowledge that Kenshin is my ultimate favorite character, but Soujiro was actually my first love in RK. I got hooked to RK because of Soujiro. And his persona reflects so much of me! Anyway, I’m at work and I’m really feeling tired. I got home 3:30 am already and I woke up at 8am, so I came late (again) in the office. We finished the band performances, I drank 1½ bottle of Vodka… (*-*)

I ran out of basic supplies so I had to go to supermarket after my work *sigh* I want to go home and sleep sleep sleep!

Anyways, just want to share something i wrote for Soujiro (and me).... the first line is owned by Nobuhiro Watsuki ^-^x

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Fake Smile

In the rain I smiled, but I was really crying
In the crowd I laughed, but I was really hurting
In the night I’m warm, but I was really chilling
In the light I see, but I was really seeking
In the deal I gained, but I was really loosing
In the game I won, but I was only cheating
In the sky I fly, but I’m actually falling
In the work I’m at ease, but I’m always cramming
In my world you are real, but I’m only dreaming
In the battle I survived, but how I wish I’d be dying