Dilemma of a Lost Kid

There are so many things I want to tell, yet I can’t put them into writing
So many things I want to show yet I can put them into drawing
There are so many things I want to try yet I can’t find the time
There’s so many role I want to be, yet I can’t find me
I’m in a middle of nowhere

Haay, I’m frustrated… frustrated that despite my hard work and busy schedule I still couldn’t manage to find myself. It’s so hard when you have no idea HOW to start… I do know WHERE to start but I have no means of doing it. I’m given enough freedom but also enough restrictions. How do I put this… it was just like when Shinobu Morita’s father (Honey & Clover) was selecting a qualified person for a position in his company. Instead of a conventional job interview, he instructed his applicants to come up with a plane using raw materials inside the “interview” room. I have this enough space yet I don’t have enough materials. And I admit that I’m not that creative to use what exists. I’m just an average person after all. Of course things like this wouldn’t get me down so easily… at times like this I would always remember Tohru Honda’s (Fruits Basket) “umeboshi” philosophy… Umeboshi is a pickled plum used as a topping to onigiri (rice ball). Well for starters it’s like this: You have something great that you don’t see because it’s at your back. You could only view other people’s back, so you can see what they have that you don’t. Make’s sense eh? I have millions of philosophies on my mind which I got from watching anime and reading manga… but I have no use of putting them into tangible rewards… haay… how complicated life can get…

Oro?!? Something amazing about the date -02-07-2007- eh? OTANJOUBI OMEDETOU!!! Yes I just turned 24! Awww! Last night I watched the last 10 episodes of XXX Holic and the last episode was a reminiscence theme. It’s about Watanuki’s past, about his very first friend which was actually a spirit. In that episode was also Watanuki’s birthday. It’s just that I got excited because there was this caption by his “friend” saying “tomorrow is your birthday ne”. And early this morning, when I was watching episode 8 of Honey & Clover, Takemoto was also celebrating his birthday. Regardless what their actual birthdates are, the bottomline is, it’s my birthday and the day before my birthday when I saw it, and I could only come up with only one conclusion… the heavens is greeting me hahahaha!!!

Anyway, there’s really nothing special. Still the same old me. I’ve received greetings from expected people and some unexpected. What a shame, I have neglected to hear mass first thing in the morning. I overslept. Though I promised to hear mass later this day, in the end my memory lapses prevailed. So what did I do for my special day? I had my brunch at Starbucks Megastrip (Megamall). I’ll be meeting my parents later so I decided I don’t have to each much.. Of course I didn’t take kohi hehehe. I bought my birthday present which is CLAMP No Kiseki Volume 5. Then I met up with my parents for dinner. Ren, Dindee, and Frances came over too. Then Ate Tesie, Kuya Val and Oliver caught up. I’d finally got to blow a birthday cake hehe… I made a wish… a wish without any compensation, because I honestly could not afford to lose anyone or anything that I have right now. Everyone within my world is a necessity to me. Everything went out just fine and when I got home I received a present that Mike left in my dorm. While writing this entry… I thought, everyone seems to be in good shape… and yet, why do I feel something is missing… -sigh- I wouldn’t want my birthday to end with grievances… I want to be optimistic… that everything will be better… better than what I hoped for… after all… God decides what’s best… so I’ll just have to entrust everything to Him… yes that’s right… everything will turn out right… no, better…Happy Birthday Kid (“,x)

It’s Sri’s birthday! Come to think of it, a lot of significant people are celebrating their birthdays this month. Tomorrow is Matt’s day and the next day is mine –grin-. In the manga world, hats off to CLAMP’s Satsuki Igarashi, her birthday’s on 8th! The very kawaii seiyuu Iwao Junko (I’m talking about her voice ok) on the 18th. And take note of the anime characters: Aerith (7), Subaru & Hokuto Sumeragi (18), Yuki Eiri (23), Cid of FF7 (24), Tsuzuki Asato (24), Touya Kinimoto and Omi Tsukiono(29). Okay I’ve got comprehensive list of birthdays of anime, manga, and game character, mangaka, seiyuu and animators. But I only mentioned those that I know and liked. I’m celebrating the month with lots of people (real and fiction) I like hehehe.

Anyway, lately it’s been very cold even during daytime. I even had this feeling of hating to take a bath because the water temperature really gets to my nerve. And now I have a cold and I’m not really feeling well. But of course, I still manage to check the net, I have to post something since I just attended an event yesterday! The Read or Die Literary Convention! I bought a pre-sold ticket which was lesser than buying it on the event day itself, plus I got a student discount (hehehe, the perks of having a valid student ID!). The event features book fair (of course) and series of lectures concerning Literature. What do you expect on this event is a jam pack of book worms! Now let me just clear myself, I am NOT a bookworm or book enthusiast! 95% of the books I read are Japanese novels hehehe. Though yesterday I bought a fantasy novel by Dianna Wyne Jones, for the sole reason that I’m interested how she writes because she’s the author of “Howl’s moving Castle”. And I’ve also seen an ad caption saying something like if you hate Harry Potter, then this one’s for you… or so… I don’t hate Harry Potter, but I don’t like him either. Anyway, as I was saying, pls. don’t get the wrong idea that I am a bookish person. I have actually pile of titles on the line because I haven’t got time to read, and I still buy new ones?!? Well, I can’t help it, I’m pretty sure I’ll get to read them some other time. I also bought “Obasan” By Joy Ogawa and “Norweigan Wood” by Haruki Murakami. I’m currently reading “Shogun” by James Clavell, it’s a story of a ship pilot who got stranded (along with his crew) in the exquisite and gory shore of feudal Japan. Now this novel is 1000+ pages long, font size 8! And I still have that sequel “Gaijin” which is even longer… and of course I haven’t read Rowland’s “The Dragon King’s Palace”. And they all got stocked up in my phantom bookshelf when I get a hold of XXX Holic series! I’ll talk more about this later, going back to ROD con, I didn’t stay that long to see the band performances because I had to go. My friends came, and I was having thoughts if they’d enjoy the event and find the registration fee worth it… I don’t intend to stay longer anyway. In short, the event just served me as a book fair, no more no less… didn’t see any acquaintances either. But I don’t regret coming. Every event is a learning experience hehehe.

Okay now let’s go to XXX Holic. Now that was sometime in July 2006 when I first seen the anime version of this marvelous title. I only had the first 3 episodes and the movie back then which left hanging and craving hehehe. But the succeeding months were really busy that I’ve forgotten keeping eye for the next episodes. Fortunately, I never ran out of sources. A dear friend hand me a copy of the complete episodes and I now I was really going “holic” watching it. I’m already at the 12th episode. And that was the reason why I stopped reading hehehe. Last night I was watching episode 10 “Lamplight”. It’s scary episode, the main chara-Yuuko, Doumeki, Himawari and Watanukim were playing Hyaku Monogatari. Just a 22 minute story scared the hell out of me I swear! Hehehe… anyway, I really don’t want my blog entries to be long, so I’m signing off.

PS.
I’m so happy to see the animated version of Kazahaya and Rikuou from Gohou Drug!

Ahoy! It’s another month and it’s gonna be a helluva month for everyone! Why, of course it’s the love month! But for those who does not see the significance of Valentines day, for whatever reason, there are other events to take note of - National Month for the Arts (art lovers?!?), Dental Medicine Month and of course… Kid’s Birthday! Yay! And I have good news and bad news for me:
Good news: my vacation leave extending my birthday was approved. Bad news, only for 3 days, and that’d be 7-9. I’d say, not bad eh.

Good news: It’s JCIA training month in MDH and I’m gonna be attending most of them and that would mean more learning for me (and more credentials to put in my CV hehehe). Bad news: training days include Mondays which is my off, and that’d mean that I’d have to adjust my schedule for the month of February and March. It’s a very intoxicating part of my work life –sigh-.

Good news: my credit card limit had increased, therefore I can purchase some items in my birthday wishlist. Bad news: that means more loans for me.

Good news, the megane I left at Dr. Joson’s Beach house in Anilao was found and returned. Bad news, my eye grade have increased and I’ll have to replace that megane eventually…That’s all I could think of for now.

Haay… Life is both blissful and miserable I’d say… paradoxical! And speaking of Dental Month, I haven’t got time to have an appointment with my dentist to fix my dental problem. In fact we’re both very busy –sigh- I hope I could slot an appointment with her during my 3-day vacation.

Events, events! Bad news, I won’t be able to see Peter Pan the Musical Play due to lack of time to get a ticket. But good news is this coming Sunday, Feb. 4, I’ll be attending the Read or Die (ROD) Literary Convention. I’ve had hardly any idea about the event but I expect to have tons of books for sale, and I hope to find the titles that I’ve been looking for ages hehehe. Also I heard that the Radioactive Sago Project and Up Dharma Down Bands will be performing. More about events, I hope I’d get to watch the “Philippine Bedtime Stories” organized by Sinag Arts Foundation on the 25th. The play features Japanese stage actors hehehe.

By the way this month, I pledge to lessen my caffeine intake. NO COFFEE for 28 days! Hehehe, The past three months I’ve been a real coffeeholic. Thanks to the traditional Starbucks Planner promo. For the record I’ve got 6 planners. I have one for myself, the others I gave to my mom, dad, Ate Cherie, Ivy and Dr. Ramirez. But of course, the stub completions are all group effort and most of our coffee sessions were sponsored by Dindee. Going back to my pledge, I won’t be drinking a single drop of coffee but I would still drink hot and iced choco and sodas. Hey I said LESS caffeine neh?) Anyway is the love month and therefore chocolates’ month! HAPPY FEBRUARY everyone!