I just got back from the pharmacy store to buy some personal essentials and cough medicine. I'm all alone at home. My brother and his family moved back to his father-in-law's house while my parents are still on their way home from visiting my uncle in Cabanatuan. I decided to clean my Starbucks tumbler so I can store my water inside my bedroom. I have not used this tumbler since my career shift to teaching. I have my own mug inside the faculty room so I never had the need to bring a tumbler. But earlier I bought a bicycle bottle holder online with thoughts of bringing in my tumbler during my bike commute so I won't have to buy soda or any thirst quencher along the way. After cleaning it and putting in potable water, I realized something. When I bought it about 9 or 10 years ago, I was in a state of emotional turmoil. Now that I'm about to use it again, I feel like I am in a similar state. So now I am starting to associate this tumbler with loneliness. Sort of.. Well, this is the adult world. Happiness is not independent from loneliness, as well as the other types of emotion. They exist along a continuum and one's state of emotion slides through it all the time. Somehow, it feels natural and yet unbearable at the same time. It's another journey and just like before, it will pass. For now, I embrace the possibilities and surprises that this new life will offer. Oh hello darkness my old friend :)
