Perspective, perspective!

One of the ways that I try to overcome my struggles over personal difficulties is gain perspective, and convince myself that whatever it is that I'm going through is just part of the process - to make me tougher, smarter, kinder,  and overall, a better  person. In the past I would do this by comparing myself with people in unfortunate and far worse  situation, like people in war-torn countries, or suffering from dreadful diseases. Somehow it worked because it made me feel lucky and grateful for what I have. But I realized that it wasn't a good strategy, because  it reinforces egoistic tendencies, feeding my mind the notion that I'm better than other people. It's never a good idea to compare yourself with other people. Comparison is only acceptable when you do it with your past self. So that's what I did, every time I feel down, I look at my past journal entries and try to reflect on why my present self is in a much better place than my past self. So today, I  checked my April 7 entries, and this one from 12 years ago was what caught my attention:

Now I don't exactly remember everything that went through that day, but it looks like I received some nasty judgement and made me think of the shinsengumi motto - 悪ぞくさん (kill evil instantly). I know that it was extremely hot and that I was doing some kanji practice and it looked I saw a couple of rats from where I was. Despite this limited information, I can tell that I'm in a better place right now because for one thing, I don't see a rat in any of the space that I occupied today. It's still hot but not hot enough to make me feel that I'm in hell. I got a bit impatient with my classes and my younger sister today, but thank God, I didn't utter any offensive or hurtful words. For perspective, this is  my physical journal entry today: 

I went back to Nihongo practice, and use Google Translate to check my work, but it doesn't read some of the characters I wrote. I'm in a better place because my Nihongo has improved, and based on my choice of words, then and now, I have a much better way of managing my personal difficulties. I love this character development!

But I have to admit, some days feel heavy. The kind of heavy where even getting out of bed feels like a battle. But just like weather, these kind of days pass, they are temporary. I've made it through tough moments before, and so I’ll make it through this one too. One day at a time... I've got this :)