Chritsmas 2010

I felt like this Christmas is different from the ones I had the past few years. For one thing, we’re not complete. My sister Pipay moved to Boracay with her husband, so it was a little lonely. When I got home the morning of 24th, I witnessed my mom cry, getting emotional with the fact there we’re spending the Christmas eve with my sister away. My younger sister Ivy and I had to console her by saying ”life’s like that”. I suddenly remember the Mcdonalds commercial with that watchamacalit song by Nyoy Volante? Mga panahon at pagkakataon, maibabalik ba ang kahapon…You know that commercial with a mom and a dad with their kids having meal, then as years went by, there were less people on the table, the kids went off with their life and the parents were left on their own but then they had their reunion at Mcdonalds. It’s a little sad, but that’s life. I told myself, we’re physically apart but we’ll always be together at heart. The family that prays together, stays together. And we used to pray together when we’re still kids until College had to take us away.

But the Christmas went well as if my sister’s here. It was as busy as ever. I used to stay home just wait for the kids to come, but this year I went out with the kids. I brought my nieces and nephews who live in Metro Manila to my aunts. I rarely see them so I wanted to take the time to be with them. I got particularly worked up with my twin nieces (did I say that right?). They are children of my cousin Adrian and they’re just adorable. Twins run in the family, I have aunts, cousins and now nieces who are twins.



Awww.. looking at my nephews and nieces melts my heart. On top photo, from left to right, that's Curt, Gail/Gelai (?), Mighael, Rome, Gail/Gelai (?). On bottom photo thats Curt Gail/Gelai (?), Mighael, Gail/Gelai (?), Kidd, Leanne

I also got to see my uncle who’s a priest, he just got back from Rome and is on a one month vacation. Whenever I see people look up to him, adores him, I’m kinda having second thoughts of being a nun (as much as I wanted to be a priest, I can’t hehe).

I received gifts from friends, in-laws and siblings. I felt bad that I didn't prepare anything for them. I prioritized the kids (read this, I burned money!) because even though I feel that Christmas is for everyone to enjoy, I've always thought it's "mainly" for the kids. I had a happy childhood and I've always felt a surge of excitement during Christmas season. I want to impart that happiness to the kids of today, so I want to make sure that I have something big for them. But I just want to express my gratitude to people who took the time to give something to me. Thank y'all!

Hey, it’s 2:30 AM and I run out of stuff to say (I got lazy rather), so I guess it’s the obligatory “next time again” spiel hehehe.

On to my surfing…

New Life

Hey, did y’all notice the new layout (it will improve, give me some time, I just wanted to change the color), new header and updated profile? Well it’s almost 2011 and it’s a shame if after almost 2 years of not posting, everything will stay the same. Besides, A LOT have changed since then.

I don’t know how to start, I don’t know how to go back, all I know is, I’ve changed a lot since then. I’ve grown a lot. I’ve learned how to let go of so many things and embrace what’s there for me. I’m still working on this, but I want to stop complaining about life. I want to stay positive. I want to make sure that I don’t take things for granted. I am incredibly grateful for what God has given me.

So to start with, since my last post, I got a new outlook , new goal, new job, new friends, new hobbies, new obsessions, new room, new laptop. I will go through each of these on my next posts (sorry I can’t commit to write that long in one post hehe).

And I want to try and learn new things.

Guess who's back! (or whose back?)

Yep! I'm back! And yep, that's my back! Finally the wait is over. I got myself a new laptop. It was long overdue but heck, I'm back! I'm so excited, I can't wait to install stuff in here. I need a lot of catching up to do, but that can wait a while. For now, I want to use this space to greet everyone a Merry, merry Christmas. May your hearts be filled with joy. More posts to come soon. (",x)

Random Stuff and Hiatus announcement

Alright let's start with the Hiatus thingie. What a way to start the year, I finally brought my laptop to the service center, and unfortunately, the motherboard was damaged already and we all know that its better to buy a new unit than buy a replacement for the motherboard. Not bad, my laptop had done its job. It didn't only help me, it also helped a lot of people and was used on many important occasion. I don't have the budget to get a new lappie so there...So much for my cyberlife, it's gonna be on a LOOOOONGGG hiatus.

I was a little sad though.. When I decided to let it go, it felt like I parted with a very dear friend. Someone who had always been there on my loneliest hours. Oh well, nothing lasts forever especially gadgets!

I think I have this jinx with gadgets... my very first mobile phone died on me for no reason.. no symptoms, no warning, no whatever. Everything seemed fine, until one day, it just won't turn on. Just like my laptop.

-sigh-

So this will be the last post for now and I'm just gonna throw some random stuff since I can't think straight

Yesterday I went to Japan Foundation Manila Office library to claim my membership ID. They gave one free manga if you renewed membership. I was asked to choose from a stack of manga titles that I've never heard before. It's not a bad thing, I'm not after the freebies anyway. I'm after the exclusive invitations for events. But anyway, I chose a manga called "Otanko Nurse". It's about a newbie nurse. So I have a manga about a doctor (Black Jack), now I have a nurse manga. I'm gonna build a hospital in my manga collection haha..

My one month old niece, Rome. She's lovely, but I noticed that she frowns a lot. I wonder if that's normal.. I have to be honest though, I really prefer a nephew because I don't know how to get along with young girls, but I guess boys can't go on dominating the family hehehe. The important thing (as always) is that she's a normal healthy girl. Her dad preferred a girl. He said girls are more responsible. I absolutely agree!

My 8 month old nephew Mighael, he's so white! He's like a white bun so I gave him a secret name "Shiroman" (shiro manju = white bun).

And he loves gashapon too!

I promised Ren that I'd blog about this when I had the chance. He got admitted when he sprained his foot last month.

When I visited him, his wife offered me this iced coffee drink. She said it was good, but it's not!

It's the worst iced coffee drink I've ever tasted! Where did it come from?!? I don't blame his wife, we have different taste buds hehe. But if your taste buds happened to be just like mine, then I'm warning you to stay away from this drink. yuck!

Speaking of coffee, I did get a Starbucks planner. I want to thank my friends Frances and Ryan for their contribution to the stickers hahaha.

I was finally able to find a chess board for the CLAMP chess photoshoot. It was my cousin's. Thanks Butchoy! Here are all the pics I took.

At Greenbelt yesterday... I had a bad day, so I tried to calm myself here... I just love Greenbelt.

I saw this once I went to Robinsons Galleria. I never knew that MRT had a mascot and I find it really cute.


I saw this at "Confessions of Shopaholic" promotional installation at Shangri-la and find it really funny. A giant paperbag, I wish I had myself pictured with it but I was alone, so... I want to see this film. I can relate in so many ways. I don't shop for clothes but I greatly relied on my credit card for shopping toys hahaha! I want to know how the hell did she end up being a financial adviser!

my shopaholic buddy Frances. This was taken last month, she said she was looking for a Christmas present for her boyfriend but I don't understand why we were at women's clothes and accessories section...

last Christmas, I burned a big hole in my pocket. But nothing to regret. It comes once a year anyway.

This year, I promise I'm gonna save, save, save!

life's too short for the wrong job

I received a forwarded email that really hit me... it was funny, witty. I liked the concept... but at the end of the attachment, all I could do is... SIGH...haayy...

haayyyyy talaga...

The Worst Starbucks Experience

Early Monday morning, I was on my way to a friend's place when I passed by the Starbucks Tektite branch. I stopped and thought I have 6 more stickers to go so why not make it 5. I am not in a hurry after all. I was surprised as I advanced to the entrance, there were already people, about to go to work, waiting. I thought it was weird, they usually open at 7:00 AM and it's almost 7:30 so I asked one of the man standing at the door, "what time do they open?". He gave me a sarcastic answer "7". Apparently, he's been waiting longer than it seems. I was startled, I never expected punctuality issues with Starbucks. What was annoying about it was, there were already "partners" inside. They were doing some stuff, I'm sure they are oblivious to customers waiting outside, they could've let us in and wait in the couch, after all, the store is OFFICIALLY open. The store finally opened after 10 minutes, but that's not the end of it. I know that Starbucks is one of the company affected by the global economic crisis, but they don't have to show that to their customers. It's not that hard to smile. Come on, this is Philippines, we laugh at our problems here! Now for the worst part, my short cafe mocha was obviously RUSHED. The whipped cream was missing, it was lukewarm, WTF! For once, I forgot that it's a Starbucks coffee. It was so early in the morning and I'm not a complaint freak so I let it go with a thought that I'm never going back there ever again.

The redeeming thing, though, was the lady put the sticker to the wrong category. She put it in the featured beverages section (featured drinks are more expensive than the regular ones). She was on a rush, of course... tsk tsk.. Remember, it's Tektite branch...

The Name Game

I heard that my first (thru a sibling) niece's name is

Romana Rubiosa Milagrose

I'm not sure if that's the official spelling but when I first heard of it, I thought it was expected from Richard. Romana was taken from my mom's name, while Rubiosa was from his mother-in-law.I told my mom, she should be happy, but she disapproves. She said that it can be a source of mockery in the future and I jokingly told her that there's nothing she can do, she's not the parent hehehe...

My personal opinion about it is, it's too long. I mean Romana is fine, Romana Rubiosa is acceptable, but add another one is just too much for me. Another niece of mine, Jona's daughter, is named Tessa Almira Miel (TAM for short). What's with these parents? Why give your child three names? I understand the uniqueness reasoning but have they ever thought of the burden it can cause their children for their future school years? Imagine they'll have to write the long name almost everyday for a minimum of 14 years!

well, I'm a lazy pig to the bone...that's me. But my mom is right, weird names can be a cause of mockery among children. I myself, admit that funny names never failed to catch my attention.

Last night it was the moon, now unusual number of stars are visible. What a beautiful sky. I wish I could show it here in my blog. Earlier, my sister-in-law gave birth to my niece. It was also Mike's birthday. Today my mom turns 58, she's still as beautiful as ever. I'd probably buy her a cake later... everything, everyone, moves forward... and so should I.

Have you seen the moon tonight? It's not a full one, but it's unusually BIG and bright.What can I say, it's beautiful! It made my weekend and I thank God for that.

It was a heavy day for me since I made a TOUGH! decision not to go to Glorieta Midnight Toy Fair and Rihanna concert. Realization hit me that I have no right to spend just because. I've been buying this and that, fercrissake I have no place to store them! That I've been promising myself for NNNTH TIME not to buy any toys or comic books until... -sigh- it's hard...it's very hard I swear.

And it's definitely not right wanting to see a concert just because I'm currently addicted to "Disturbia" LOL! I am not a fan of Rihanna or Chris Brown, I'd like to make that clear. Thank God I realized this...

Oh yeah, another reason why I wanted to go to the concert was to try the binoculars I borrowed from Frances. I'm having so much fun using it that I compromised to go to Tanay Dike Lighthouse every morning and convinced myself that I am a... watchamacalit? A look-out? of a pirate ship... whatever, my sister told me that it's just a gossip tool. Now that reminds me, I never thought that my neighbors are... bzzzz...LOL! No, I would never do such a thing. I'll watch out for the next worth seeing concert =)

The problem with an insomniac like me is when a time when I'm so pissed and I really feel like cursing the world, there's no one out there to turn to. Oh why is that when people need me, I'm always there yet when I'm the one in need, nobody seems to care... that is so unfair... I wish I had a car so I can drive out. I'll drive as fast as I can and I won't stop until it ran out of gas. Then I'd be stranded in a middle of a highway where no one can see or hear me. And then... I'd shout as loud as I could... OH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO MEEEEEEE????!!!!!

yeah I wish...

The Tradition Begins

I just got my first sticker for the 2009 Starbucks Planner with a Short Classic Hot Choco, this is the cheapest that I can buy at Starbucks. This year, the planner is less glamorous but the required stickers were also reduced. Last year, the elegant leathered planner can be obtained for 24 stickers, now it's only 16! I wonder if it has something to do with the global economic crisis. I was able to get the planner last year for a record breaking 6 days! I forced my friends to buy coffee, that's why hehehe. Now, I'm all alone in this battle so it'll definitely take time. My friend Aristurtle, who's also celebtrating his ??th birthday keeps on updating me thru SMS the progress of his sticker collection. At 4:00, he told me he already had 7 stickers. By 5:00, he informed it's 6 stickers to go. At 6:00 it went down to 2. And by 7:00 he already got the planner! Hmp! so he broke my record! So what, the planner is not that MUST to get anyway... but I was really dying of envy huhuhu

As a Filipino Catholic, I've always found myself celebrating Nov. 1 in Tanay Municipal Cemetery together with my kins (maternal side) to commemorate our Grandparents, Uncle Tony, Great grandmother and other relatives who passed away. Where was great grandfather buried by the way?

Over the years, I, again, noticed how times have changed with the way we celebrate this supposedly All Saints Day. When I was younger, it was like an extension of our playtime. We held this unofficial competition of making balls out ot of melted candles. The biggest ball gets the spotlight. There was no prize but I guess it determined our competency hehe. It was also a time when we get to listen to scary stories and I remember how we looked forward to Magandang Gabi Bayan's All Saints Day special usually aired on the first Saturday of November. We had no Halloween parties, trick or treats or whatsoever. And yeah, it was always raining on November 1.

The last November 1s had become a forum of what's new or what's hot. Who got married or who got pregnant. Expressions of work grievances... plans to get the latest cell phones... etc.. etc... And yesterday, I didn't get to see most of my cousins and aunts. Plus I've noticed that the number people were significantly lesser. They must be very busy or something. Not that it's a big deal, I'm not getting emotional over something like this. But why is it that the older we grow the more it seems that all days of the year have become nothing more than regular days.

Here's another text message that reminded me of the Oooold days and made me smile from ear to ear!

"They said that you didn't pass childhood if you didn't have a taste of Santan's nectar"

Bwahaha! Why is that I asked? I don't remember starving to death. Why in the world would I go for a raw flower's nectar. Maybe because of my brothers. Tsk! They had so much influence over my behavior. I haven't seen any Santan flower since high school...

blog plug

I found myself drawn to engrish.com ever since I received a forwarded email from my brother. It archives (since 1996) pictures of poorly translated signs, menus, and instruction manuals to bizarrely worded ads and strange, t-shirt, and slogans. It had become a routinary stop whenever I had the opportunirty to access the web. The funny thing about it is that those grammatical, typographical or spelling errors give another whole new meaning to the phrase. And yes, they sounded really silly hehehe. I hope I don't look silly laughing out loud all alone because of these hehehe:

I'm sure I won't buy it

They grow up fast!

Okay I don't want to grab everything there. Better if you'll check the site. The blog section is also worth the check. Okay that's it, I can't stop laughing!

Don't you think it's amazing that Filipinos are very good with English?

80s and 90s thingie...

I received a forwarded text message from a friend that goes on like this:

Are you part of the late 80s and early 90s era?

- you know Shaider, Bioman, Maskman, Masked Rider Black and Optimus Prime

- you know the Nano-nano jingle

- you played 10-20

- you know the universal song "uwian na" (it's time to go home")

- you danced Macarena and Boombastic

- you know the meaning of "time first"

- you put Pritos Ring in your fingers

- you have a pencil case with so many buttons to press

Then that means you're old!

Hell yeah I'm getting old and I don't realy deny it. I have to admit that I hate it though. What makes this notion really depressing for me is the fact that at this age, I'm still a nobody. I haven't achieved anything that I can really be proud of. Oh well...

I'd like to put some other details about the text message though

- I also watched (and liked) Turbo Ranger, Fiveman, Machine Man, Poseidon and various Ultraman series

- I really liked the Nano-nano candy especially the purple, orange and green flavor. They tasted like umeboshi (sweeeeeet, sour and salty....what it does to meeeeehhh... nano nano, nano nano...)

- I also played chinese garter despite the fact that I really sucked on it hehehe

- I didn't dance Macarena or Boombastic but I know the dance steps since they were really popular that time

- Damn those pencil cases, they were like a status symbol of the students LOL!

I also realized that before I got addicted to anime, I've watched a lot of them during this era (Voltes V, Daimos, Cedie, Mary and the Family Bontrap, Sarah, Remi (boy version), Peter Pan, Heidi, Georgie, Charlotte, Poly Anna, Anne of Green Gables, Romeo, Marco, Julio & Julia, Robin Hood, Zenki, B't X, Saber Marionette, Sailor Moon, etc.)

Oh yeah, I've got addicted to komiks other than Funny Komiks before. I just can't remember the titles because I don't really follow any series back then. I read one shot stories. I remember when I was in grade 4, I save at least P1-2 from my allowance so I can go to the public market after school and rent komiks. There were stalls in the public market where you can sit and read various selection of komiks for only 50c/issue. But I cheated because I read more than what I paid for since there's really no way that the vendors would know because there are too many customers. Back then I really enjoyed fantasy stories. I think I owe my knowledge about the Philippine myth icons (manananggal, duwende, engkanto, tikbalang, etc.) from komiks.

It's a little frustrating that this form of Phil. Lit have died. I think cable TV killed it. There are a lot of local comics available nowadays but most are really trying hard to capture the manga (art and story) style. I'm addicted to manga but what's wrong to use our own style? I mean the komiks style.

My friend, who is a teacher, tells me how she could feel the generation gap between her and her students. She told me how different students are nowadays. They hardly ever read the books for their assignment, they always realy on the internet and that they are too caught up with their mobile phones and gadgets. When we were on higschool (we're not classmates but we're from the same era), the bonding moments of different groupies would be playing guitar and singing. And who can forget the "songhits". I never bought one back then but I remember borrowing from my classmates hehehe....

How can life be so simple back then?

Rain rain rain...

Yay it's raining. A lot of people hate it because of so many adversities it brings. But what would a light rain do? A surge of mixed emotions fills me specially when I'm alone when it rains dramatically. It makes me want to do a lot of things..

have a hot cup of coffee
make pancakes
listen to slow music
write my journal
write poem
lie in bed all day
day dream dream dream
reminisce... ahh why do good things in the past have to be associated with rain...

but most of all... I want to...

My laptop is broke and it really depressed me to the bone -super sad face-...It just won't turn on and I have no idea what happened. Why of all things, does it have to happen to my laptop? It could have been my phone, or -thinks other owned gadgets- my phone? Well that's life. I haven't taken it to the ASUS service center, I'm afraid it'll really cost me huhuhu. Now my only gateway to the newest manga is temporarily closed. How can fate be so cruel to me despite my everyday generosity??? (Ren: echos!!!) -sigh-

Anyways, I'm really thankful to this mushrooming Tokyopop manga bargains. My consumer impulse increased to 100% and I develop the need to visit every National Bookstore and Booksale in town despite their crappy customer service. I wish Booksale would drop down their prices for the manga because they have better titles than NBS. The only bad thing about this is the greater chances of manga going mainstream in the Philippines. It's actually a good thing in a way, but I would still prefer it be just a subculture -meanie me!-

I've been wondering why after a series of trivial dreams -a friend playing Scrabble with my kins, a 5 year old Japanese girl which I don't even know if she exist, a not so possible scene from a popular American TV series, myself waiting for a cab in front of our house at 6:45 AM- ended the week with a very heavy dream -United Nations announced that we're officially having a World War 3! That's not really good for -ahem- a pacifist like me. In the end, I can only associate it with my recurring dreams of apocalypse theme. Dreams that made me pray and repent the moment I wake up. Then last night, as if Mr. Sandman was trying to make ammends with me, I dreamed about a particular scene from Cooking Masterboy which stimulated my appetite for Crab Omelette all day long. As of this moment, I'm still thinking about TRYING to make a Crab Omelette. One of these days I swear...

Don't you think it's amazing how dreams can affect one's behavior for a certain period of time? I've been writing down these dreams in my planner, who knows, they might be pieces of puzzle to my soul searching mission. Right Morpheous?

Manga, manga, manga!!!

I started my otakuness with anime but for the past couple of years, I feel like I am more addicted to manga. It really happens, a lot of fandoms (here) practically started from anime. What about manga, it doesn't really make any difference does it? The thing is, I feel like I can't enjoy an anime based from a manga that i have RECENTLY read. Okay that's exaggerating, not that I can enjoy, but it's not as exciting if I watch anime without a manga background. Or, the new policy would be to give it sometime for me to wash the memory before I watch the anime version. However, there's a big difference if it's the other way around. If I watch the anime version first, I am guaranteed to enjoy the manga version with the same level of reading it for the first time like I have no idea what's gonna happen. Perfect examples are Rurouni Kenshin, Yuyu Hakusho, Card Captor Sakura... I can't remember how many times I watched these animes before I got a hold of their manga version and there are very slight differences in storylines, but damn, when I was reading them, it was as if I never knew what's gonna happen.

Does it make any sense?

What an introduction, when all I wanted to say was that I'm so happy that I finally get to download the recent releases of TRC and XXX Holic... And that I'm so sad that HXH haven't returned from its "NTH" hiatus ='(... It's really depressing because it doesn't feel like the story is near its conclusion yet it had to undergo with so many breaks. It was said that it was due to Yoshihiro Togashi's uncertain illness. Whatever it is, I pray that he recovered completely...

back and ugh!

Now that I finally have time back in my little hands, I suddenly can’t think of anything to talk about. Except that just now I hated my older sister, Pipay, for being such a KJ for changing the radio station and tuned to something that plays contemporary music. C’mon, it’s Sunday afternoon and it ought to be 70’s! And that my brother Oli keeps looking at my monitor. Damn, don’t you hate it when somebody is reading every single word that comes out of your mind? I mean I don’t mind my siblings reading my blog but not when I’m on the process of generating thoughts. It’s annoying that I have to minimize the window whenever he’s at my back!

But anyway, the last weeks were indeed busy for me but it was also a blast that I didn’t notice that Christmas is around the corner… AGAIN! Christmas used to be exciting when I was younger, but now I felt like it’s the time to burn a (BIG) hole in my pocket –sigh- . But it can’t be helped. I loved the feeling of looking forward for presents and celebrating when I was a kid so why won’t I let the kids in my family feel it. After all, I have all the things to be thanked for – a healthy and intact family. AMEN. Money is just a thing that comes, goes and don't worry because it keeps coming back. The smile of a child for this important time of the year is much more important and priceless.
Mom: so why don’t you give your toys to your nephews this Christmas?
Kid: NO! That’s a different issue!!!

Events reports:

The latest one I went to was the 29th Manila International Book Fair. It’s my 4th time in the country’s biggest book fair. Ever since my first attendance I made a pledge to attend every year not because I love books, but because I’m cheap. I’m just after shopping for (good) bargain books and comics which takes less than 2 hours. They have a long program of activities which I never attended because I’m not really onto it.

This year, what do you know, they included cosplay contest and lecture in the program. When I learned of it, all I could ever say in a flat voice was “wow”. My feelings for cosplay have become neutral. I’m still interested in dressing up as an anime character in the future, but I am more than content to be just a spectator by now.

Back to the book fair, aside from manga shopping, what makes this event worth coming are the free bookmarks by exhibitors. I have big use for them I swear. At the SMX lobby, they exhibited popular characters of Philippine literature like Ibong Adarna, Juan Tamad, Tipaklong and Langgam, etc. made of rubber. There are some characters that I didn’t recognize and I suppose that they are from new stories. They are cute though. Too bad my camera is not in good condition anymore. I wish next time there’d be classic komiks on sale, that’d make me feel that “hey, it’s a Phil. Lit. event”.

Eraserheads Reunion Concert:
Okay, I know this is a super late post-facto, but hey, can I say that it’s one of the best concerts I’ve ever been. Honestly, the performance of the group is nothing special to me. In fact, at the onset of the show, it was all over Ely’s face that he’s exhausted and not feeling well. I’m sure a lot of people noticed that. Still I applaud because despite the stress, he still pulled it off. The level of excitement of the people was really moving, it penetrated my bones. The concert was cut short but I do not regret coming. Who knows it might be the last concert of the BEST PINOY BAND ever. The group is very positive for a 2nd round, but will Ely’s medical condition allow it? I’m not being pessimistic here or anything, I just know that heart illness is not something to be taken lightly. Suppose a repeat does happen, I’d still go. My only frustration is that they haven’t performed some of my favorite songs –Maselang Bahaghari, Ang Huling El Bimbo, Magasin, Hard to Believe, Spolarium, Para Sa Masa, Minsan, Tindahan Ni Aling Nena –sigh-

And yeah, I was in the general admission section and we can only rely on big screens to see what's really happening on the stage. But hell, hearing the live performance is enough...

Plays...

I watched an Asian version of Tosca - a Puccini Opera, at PETA Theater last August 29. It's a collaboration of PETA, Black Tent Japan and Nottle Korea. Whenever I'd see operas in movies, they seem old (of course, duh!) and... boring. But I never thought it could be really engaging in live performance or maybe it was because of the modifications -they injected some humor, current issues, pop culture to make it more relevant to Asian audience. I am looking forward to seeing more stage plays, if only it'll be a little cheap.

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And the other things that made me busy... ugh! I'm back to hikkikomori mode...that's all