This One's for You Don...

I am walking away from this room beaming with inspiration and at the same time, a heavy heart. Why, it all started with Twitter. I was looking at Jim Paredes' tweets, it brought me to his tumbler, then to an over a month old post about Dolores Hart's attendance to the Oscars last year. She looked familiar I thought. When I read on, I learned that she started in Elvis Presley's first Technicolor film, Loving You. So I remembered, I bought a DVD copy of the film for my parents (it was a clearance sale). I watched it, didn't really leave an impression, nothing remarkable, I thought. Anyway, the interesting part was,  after making a few films, Hart left Hollywood and became a nun. I found it interesting because she seemed to have a promising career, she was VERY beautiful (and still is), and she was engaged too. Yet she chose a secluded life exposed to hard labor and renounced comfort and luxury. Boy, that calling must have been crystal clear and very powerful too! 

Anyway, I am always drawn to inspiring stories like this, I wish to meet her and  more inspiring people whose lives are fueled by something greater than power and money, something we will definitely take in the afterlife. 

So here is the documentary film, God is the Bigger Elvis, about this amazing woman. It was nominated for Best Documentary Short at the 84th Academy Awards, where Dolores attended the ceremony, her first  Oscar attendance since 1959.

The heavy part of the documentary has something to do with her former fiance' - Don Robinson. Although he dated other women after the engagement broke off, he never got married. He admitted that he never got over Dolores, that he still love her at the time of the interview like he loved her more than four decades ago. He died in November 29, 2011. Throughout his life, he visited her during Christmas and Easter in the Benedictine Abbey of Regina Laudis  (Bethlehem, CT) and they remained close friends. He said that "every love doesn't have to wind up at the altar".

When I get to witness something so pure and profound, I could not help but shed tears of indescribable feeling. Perhaps it was because the theme of unrequited love is just too close to home.  I've known it too many times that it's impossible not to get pricked. 

When I contemplate on Don's side of the story, the song Eternally plays on my mind. So I shall end this post with this song and a promise, that one of these days, I will lightt a candle for him and pray for the repose of his soul. 

2012 Last Post

Oh boy, look at we, about to end the year again. Where did 2012 go? Truth be told, it was a very complicated year. But I'm not here to talk about that. I just want to wish everyone a Happy 2013. I hope that everybody learned and gained something worth it from the past year, whatever it was, I hope we can  use it to survive, improve and enjoy another year ahead. 

So here's something for y'all! I wanted to upload a music box video of Auld Lang Syne but I don't have one. I spent a good time searching the web for a 30-note plingplong template for my DIY music box, but I can't find one, and I don't know how to make my own arrangement YET. So I settled with the good old recorder to play this new year theme. 

I don't know why I have to explain myself like that, but anyway... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Updates, updates...

Wow, I can't believe it'll be Christmas soon, where did 2012 go? December proved to be a hectic month. Too many events and celebrations popping left and right, birthdays, weddings, Christenings, and not to mention Christmas parties. I wish I could make myself available for every happening, but here are the ones I've been to.

December kicked off with my friend's (Chris) birthday and the advance screening of Rurouni Kenshin live action film. My friends and I were lucky enough to get passes for the premier, from what I understand, there was also a cosplay competition prior to the screening,  it was nice to see RK cosplayers again. My friends urged me to put on my Seta costume, but I was not into that kind of stuff anymore, there's just no inspiration to drive me to do it. There were also people from Hero TV. Inside the cinema, a funny thing happened to me and my friends. Before the film started, a man approached us and asked if we could give our seats to Myrtle of Pinoy Big Brother (PBB) Teens and her company. He suggested that we take the Hero seats at the left most part of the theater. I hated that spot, there's no way I'm taking that seat, but it sounded like we SHOULD give way, Myrtle seems to be some kind of a VIP, all I could say was "whut?". Good thing my friend Nagi was quick to respond in a reasonable manner, she said "I don't think so, these seats are not tagged as reserved, maybe Myrtle can take the Hero seats instead", and with that, the man went away. Whew. At the time, I didn't know who this Myrtle kid is, I thought she was a cosplayer with a status like Alodia's. But she turned out to be a local celebrity. I was wondering though, why ask us? It's not like we have the best spot, we're almost near at the far left side of the balcony. Do we look like some kids who'd suck up to a PBB star? Sorry man, I'm not trying to be rude here, but we're just old timers wanting to enjoy a favorite classic anime.

Now the movie part... I must be a shame to the RK fandom, I hate to say this, but I actually slept at the middle of the film! I wish this would not make me less of a fan. I've mentioned that I have very low expectations on the film, and it's not like the film sucks (I watched the film again during the regular showing). Let me explain okay. First of all, let me tell you the stuff I liked - it's visually pleasing, the action scenes are very impressive and very close to the anime, the cinematography, what can I say? WOWZA! I like how The actor who played Sanosuke is so in character, I just wish he's taller. I like how subliminal Chief Uramura's presence is. I have a neutral feeling on the storyline. It's understandable how hard it is to justify many arcs that are condensed into a two hour feature film. The producers mixed up the storyline of Takeda, Jin'eh, Saito, Sano and how Kenshin got into Kamiya dojo, I'd say it's not bad, but again, nothing fresh for me here. I'm actually rooting for a new storyline and new characters. The only new character introduced here was the guy whom I thought to be Hanya all along. But when his mask broke, he turned out to be someone I've never seen or is it just my rusty memory playing with me? But it's definitely not Hanya. I have mixed feelings on Takeru Sato playing Kenshin, I could tell he's a good actor. I love all of his fighting scenes. But Kenshin's character, how he transform from a harmless rurouni to a deadly hitokiri, I'm just not convinced. His oro? Nah, he needs to try harder. I don't like how Kaoru turned to be a cutesy betsy and modest, oh that scene where she stumbled upon a stray cat and cried "whoa neko-chan?", not Kaoru at all. Don't get me wrong, I like Kaoru, but I really felt her character was not justified in the film. Overall, I would still recommend the film to fans and non-fans alike.

Moving on to other stuff, my parents and I went to the Elton John concert last December 8. It was a real treat despite being in an older crowd, come on, it's Elton John. The tickets were quite pricey and we can only afford the general admission rate (P1000). I was worried that I may not enjoy that much, I know that being in the farthest  part of the dome has the least advantage visually and auditory speaking. I don't care much about visuals, I went to listen anyway. But being in the general admission crowd was not hindrance to enjoy Elton John's music. He still has this powerful voice even after 40 years of being active in the music scene. He was in his signature shiny blue coat, it had something written at the back, but given our spot, I couldn't read what it was, even with my binoculars on. The show was opened with The Two Cello, they were Croatian cello players. I've seen them perform on The Ellen Degeneres Show, and they were really great too. I noticed a lot of foreigners in the crowd too. I was not able to track the number of songs Elton performed, there were a lot of lesser known songs which kept the crowd a little silent. But whenever perform his classic hits, we'd all jumped up and join the singing. Some of my favorites were Crocodile Rock, Rocket Man, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, Candle in the Wind, Daniel and Nikita.

Elton John performing Nikita, sorry for the poor quality of my phone cam

After the last song, as usual, the audience cried for more. When he went out on the stage again, he signed autographs for the hungry fans before starting the encore. Oh those lucky VIP ticket holders! He first performed "Your Song" which got the couples dancing slow.  When he performed his last song "Circle of Life", I was surprised and amused to see my parents get up for a slow dance too. The lyrics of the song doesn't feel appropriate for a slow dance but Elton John's piano did set the mood. It was a wonder why some of his greatest hits were missing from the play list -Skyline Pigeon, Can You Feel the Love Tonight, Sacrifice, We All Fall in Love Sometimes. Still, it was a perfect evening. I hope he goes back to Manila for another performance, next time though, I hope I'll have more funds for a better spot.

Doesn't look like it, but they were passing it off as a slow dance hehe

The next event I went to is an art exhibit opening. As part of centennial birthday celebration of Philippine National Artist for Visual Arts, Carlos "Botong" Francisco, Ayala Museum presented Botong Francisco: A Nation Imagined, an exhibit of some of unseen works of the muralist. I got an invitation to attend the opening because I signed up for membership for the museum. I've always wanted to check the museum because of its vast collection of prehistoric artifacts, but I always knew that a day is not enough a four-storey worth of exhibit, thus I opted to to get a membership which gives me an unlimited access all year round. I was right anyway, the first two visits I had were not enough to digest everything. I was after the perks too - of getting invited to exhibit openings, it's always better to get ahead of the public, and I'm after the cocktails too hehehe. There was a short film directed by Peque Gallaga to complement the exhibit and provide a cinematic  experience of Botong's works. I love how his paintings come to life, how it gives one a glimpse and even make one share how Botong imagined the Philippine history and culture. I highly recommend art lovers to see this rare exhibit. It runs until March 31, 2013.

These are some of my favorites:

I'm grateful that they allowed to take pictures this time, when I went there for the Sharaku exhibit a few months ago, I had to risk getting kicked out of the museum when I got excited and broke the rules when I saw a Sharaku interpretation using music box knobs and a Takashi Murakami print. The security warned me, and now that I remembered, I thought I should share them here too.

      

On some personal event, a friend of mine got married last week. Lee and Nelson tied the knot in Taal Vista Hotel in Tagaytay. It's the first time I ever attended a civil wedding, the judge who officiated the ceremony was a female too, and I thought, great another first time, I get to see a woman do it too. She only discussed the responsibilities of husband and wife, and made sure that bride and the groom knows and consents what they were getting into. It was short and concise, it should be a good thing, but I realized the lack of spiritual proceedings somehow reduced the solemnity of the event. My friends will have a church wedding sometime in the future. For now, to many other couples of today's generation, civil wedding is a practical way to get hitched. My most profound congratulations to Lee and Nelson, I wish you nothing but the best of marriage life.

The next event is yet to come, sometime this month, but I thought I should mention it here to give me an excuse to post a photo of my soon to be godson, Chase. Here he is :)

Chase is Sherry and Lester's son, he's now on his 5th month, so he's still cute and kind hehe. He is very precious. His Christening is on December 29, another obligation that I'm happy to take. I hope we become friends too, I'm not good with kids. Man this wedding and Christening talks make me feel so old. I better get back to my Christmas shopping, ugh!

Updates, updates!!!

Hey y'all what's up? I've been busy this month, but not too busy not to blog about interesting stuff I've done. So far life has been very good. Last week I visited the art capital of the Philippines, Angono Rizal and showed some of my friends my hometown, Tanay. They loved it. I'd like to talk my travel adventures in a separate post so I won't go into that yet. Instead, I'll talk about the things I did in the city.

Last Monday I attended the Unit Asia Jazz concert in SM North EDSA Skydome. I was with Chris, Nagi and Che. The event was organized by JFMO as part of the Nihongo Fiesta 2012 so it was free. Unit Asia by the way are, Hiroyuki Noritake (drums/Japan), Shigeki Ippon (bass/Japan), Tay Chier Siang (piano/ Malaysia), Isao Miyoshi (guitar/Japan), and Koh Mr. Saxman (saxophone/Thailand). This is their second time in the Philippines. I've seen them perform the first time they were here, so I knew that it's a must to see this concert. Let me just say that I'm not exactly a fan of jazz. I mean I like it, but it's the kind of music (for me) that has a time, place and mood requirement for listening. I like it when I'm in coffee shops (which rarely happens now) and reading Murakami books. But the thing about JFMO events is, they never disappoint, at the end of the show, I'm always impressed. I was impressed the first time Unit Asia was here, and I was impressed again this time.

I'm glad that I was with my friends this time, to share the appreciation. My favoritemembers of the group, then and now, were Mr. Saxman (saxophone) and Mr. Miyoshi (guitar). For me, their sound were the most powerful. Mr Saxman, was really playful with his sax and it was really fun to watch. There were tracks they perform with vocals and for that, they always collaborate with Filipino singers. They had Sitti before, this time they had Cooky Chua. They were great choices, but I liked Cooky more, I especially loved the Jazz rendition of "Paglisan". I'd say they performed better this time though I prefer the venue last time (Music Museum).

I'm very sorry for the poor video quality

At the end of the show, Mr. Siang and Mr. Saxman were really nice to come out of the stage to shake hands with the audience. I was able to shake hands with them and I even asked for an autograph, yay!

This Saturday, I booked my day for one thing. Hugo. It's a shame that I've only learned about this film recently. When the Oscars nominees for Best Picture were announced, I immediately checked them. Hugo particularly got me hooked because of the references to automata. I was ecstatic when, one day at the mall, I saw that Hugo will be shown in cinemas. I hoped for an IMAX showing, but sadly, it's only available on Digital 3D. I scheduled my day for the film anyway.

I asked my friend Jam, who works at SM Cinema, for the best Digital 3D cinema to see Hugo and she recommended MOA, so I decided to see it there. Che came along for a totally different agenda, Travel Expo, and I thought, it would be good to check it too since I have upcoming trips. We decided to check the MV Logos Hope floating book fair too so we could maximize the day. Since the book fair venue is the one we're not familiar with, and it opens the earliest, we decided to head there first.

The world's largest floating book fair is currently docked at Pier 15 in South Harbor Manila. It offers 5,000 books at affordable prices. The ship houses 400 volunteers from different countries. Its predecessor, MV Doulos had visited the Philippines many times, but this is my first time to come aboard. When we entered inside, we were ushered to a welcome area to watch a video clip about Logos Hope.

Then we were given instructions how to go around, how to pay. It's a one way navigation, there's no way to get lost, even for people with low sense of direction like me. From the welcome area, you go to the book fair itself, then pay at the cashier or exit. The price is in "units". One unit is equal to one peso.

Most of the books I saw are stuff I never heard of or see at the local bookstores. I didn't see anything from my wishlist. Instead I bought my niece an anatomy book for children and I got me an inflatable globe and Disney Cars and Finding Nemo greeting cards. The next stop is another selection of books, mostly academic text books, then you walk along an interactive exhibit of Hope's Life Experience, it's basically the story of The Prodigal Son, in a modern day perspective.

After the exhibit, there's another watching area, this time video clips showed missions and accomplishment of Logos Hope. Then there's the International Cafe where shoppers can relax and snack. We were pressed on time and we were gonna eat lunch anyway so we skip trying the delicacies. I've read that the ice cream at the cafe were really good, next time, I'll make sure to try that. At the exit, the crews are handing out books for free, but I was trying to limit the things to carry so I declined getting the free books.

Outside Pier 15, we opted to get a cab going to MOA. And what do you know, it's not an easy thing in this part of Manila. There are men who act like disptachers, and force themselves in getting a cab for you. I was like, no thank you I can do this. But man, this guy I encountered was so persistent, I was trying to hail a cab, my friend was trying to hail a cab from a different spot, and he was competing with us just for the sake of doing us a favor for a price. Irksome fellow I tell you. When a cab stopped by, he was so persistent in getting paid. I'd like to point out that it's nowhere close to the hospitality that we pride ourselves. I mean if you're desperate for a job, then find a decent one. I gave him a five peso coin just to make him shut up.

So we went to MOA, we decided to eat at Pizza Hut. We came in lunch time so we had to wait for a table. While waiting, I went to National Bookstore to look for The Invention of Hugo Cabret. I initially scoured the Children's Book area but when I couldn't find it, I tried the customer service, which proved to be a wrong decision. NBS has one of the worst, if not the worst, customer service in the Philippines! I asked the CSR lady for the book, and she looked it up on her computer. She then wrote it on a piece of paper and called for her colleague. She told me that "the system" shows zero stock, but she'll have someone verify it. So after a good 5 minutes, the supposedly verifier came with a look that says, "I was having the perfect dream, why did you wake me up?". Anyway, she took the piece of paper and stared at it for a second, and immediately dismissed that the book out of stock. When an employee of NBS says a book is out of stock, that means you have to look for it yourself. I have lost count how many times it happened to me, but I never learn. Darn! So anyway, I went back to the Children's book section and looked for Hugo once more. And I was right. Man they still have 2 copies in stock. Now that tells me two things about NBS that are not right:

1) They have inefficient customer service; and

2) their inventory records is outdated.

The National Book Store is the largest bookstore chain in the Philippines. Seriously NBS? I wanted to go back to the Customer Service counter to point out that both the computer and the live person were wrong. But I was in a hurry to go back to Pizza Hut, besides, I'm too happy to complain. But one day, those ladies are gonna get it I swear, I'm gonna look for their manager. It's just disappointing, I came from a book fair ran by foreigners. The crew were very nice and friendly, they answered my questions with a warm smile, and they are not getting paid for what they are doing. They are volunteers. And then I go to a local bookstore, the largest chain in the country that prides itself for polite and helpful people, but I get inefficiency and attitude. Never mind the attitude, just do your job right lady.

Okay, going back to the good news, at least I got me a copy of The Invention of Hugo Cabret. Yay!

And the day wasn't about to end anytime soon, the moment I've been waiting for is about to come!

So we had lunch at Pizza Hut (I'll never get enough of stuffed crust pizza) and I vented all my frustration to my friend (over NBS). We decided to get tickets for the 5:00 PM showing then go to Travel Expo, but when we're almost at the movie house, a long queue of movie goers loomed before us! Apparently, SM Cinema is undergoing an upgrade, so there's only one ticket counter to accommodate all customers. So I told Che that she can go ahead to the Travel Expo and I'll stay on the queue and catch up as soon I get the tickets. It was a good thing that I have the book with me while waiting for my turn. I browsed through Selznick's illustrations. I was just drooling with awe I didn't notice how long I waited. Before I knew it, I have my tickets on my hand already. SM Cinema by the way, is switching the paper tickets into reusable swipe cards, not sure though if that's the upgrade they're talking.

So I went next to the Travel Expo in SMX. There's a P50 entrance fee. I don't know anything about travel deals and booking, I always leave it up to my friend or my sister. My usual role in booking is entering my credit card information. But going to the Travel Expo is another brand new experience. At first, I thought that it'll just be a long line of Travel Agency booths, and it was by the way, but exhibitors are very creative. Too bad that I didn't get to take some pictures because my phone batt was about to drain. But I really liked the presentation of different countries. Each one has a gimmick. Most of the booths' facades are replica of popular architectural structures of the country they represent. Japan has a photo booth and free Japanese food taste and free cups of Pocari Sweat(I got me a cup of that!). Malaysia and China have dance presentations. They give freebies if you like their page on Facebook. While looking around, I couldn't help but wish that anime conventions could be that creative. While our very own country claims that "It's more fun in the Philippines", sadly, the (DOT?) booth didn't justify the slogan. I'm not saying this to criticize DOT, but if you would just compare the tourism campaign of each country based on the booths, it's very obvious why we are not faring in the competition. It's a sad thing. I look at the brochure of Malaysia and I can tell that we can do better. I don't have to be there to say that we have more beautiful beaches here. There's so much room for improvements. But hey, the hype it gave to travel enthusiasts was a good start. I'd like to believe our tourism industry is on the right track. Cynics like me just have to be patient. And because I like keeping souvenirs of events, I hoarded brochures and flyers of different countries hehehe.

By 4:30, Che and I decided to leave the Expo and go to the cinema. It was the moment I've been waiting for. Hugo!!! So, I don't wanna give away too much. All I'm saying is, it's about a boy who has a talent for fixing clockworks and he tries to solve a mystery by fixing the broken automata of a mechanical doll left by his father. I'm not be the best person to give an objective review of the film because of my fascination with automata, but the name Martin Scorsese should be enough to make you watch it. I LOVE the film! In my opinion, it should win the Oscars Best Picture. I mean, I've seen The Artist and I think it's great, but Hugo? Come on, I don't want to use a cliche here, but really, Hugo is a film that literally reminds me why I watch films. I swear you HAVE TO SEE IT. The only thing that made me sad here was the fact that it's not on IMAX.

So anyway, after the seeing the film. My energy started to drop really low. Che and I decided to eat the pizza left overs. We needed to fuel our body. We headed towards the back of the mall (facing the bay) to look for a bench to eat. But luck was on our side again when we realized that all walkway towards the bay side were gated. There's a Pyromusical event and you have to pay before you can get in. On normal days, the place is open to public. We just wanted to sit on a bench and eat pizza, but we have to pay for it too. We got interested in the fireworks anyway so we took the cheapest ticket, which is P100. The countries competing for the night were UK and Spain. I've seen Pyrolympics competition before, but it didn't have the musical component. This time pyropeople or pyromaniacs or whatever you call those who performs the pyros (?) incorporated music while doing the fireworks. I love music but I don't see the use of doing them together. The constant bang of the fireworks doesn't really mesh with the music. Maybe that's how they're being judged because Spain synched the fireworks and music better that UK. I did enjoy at first, but after a while, I just wanted it to end. Maybe it's just my low energy, or the guilt of patronizing an activity that's extremely harmful to the environment. But I swear I'll never watch another pyrolympics or musical or whatever in the future.

Traffic was horrible on our way home. I got home past 12 midnight, I was, once again, awake for more than 30 hours. I feel a tinge of guilt when I do that. I feel like I'm abusing my body. But it happens once in a while, so... zzzz....

I slept for 13 hours! <3 When I woke up, I saw my arms with 3 different stamps. So when my family asked me where I went, I just raised my arm in the air to show them, here --

Cassette Orgel

Hey, do you know that trend in Facebook where you post the number one song the week you were born? Mine was Down Under by Men at Work. I'm not exactly a fan, but I do like some of their songs. I am a fan, though, of the 80s and 90s music, probably the best era in music for someone who grew up on those years. At the time, there were no ipods and itunes, no youtube singing sensations, and very few singing talent competitions. But back then, music made a lot of sense (IMHO). We had Walkman though, and cassette tapes.

Ahhh the cassette tape... up until the new millennium (Y2K) I used them to collect songs. I couldn't afford to buy the official albums, I had blank tapes instead. On weekends, I stayed up late to wait for my favorite songs in the radio so I can record them in my tapes. Sometimes, I'd record a talk in between songs, pretending to be a DJ playing a fan request song. Then I used them to record anime songs too. It sounds so primitive, but TVs don't come with a tape recorder, so what I did was place the cassette recorder beside the TV and hit the record button once the opening or ending theme plays. The ending song was a bummer, sometimes, the network stations won't finish the song, in a hurry to start the new program.

Then, way way back from my childhood, when my dad was working overseas, because we had no telephone, we communicate through letters and cassette tapes. We recorded our messages in blank tapes and send them to my dad. I had no idea where those tapes are now, it would have been great to find them and hear what my voice sounded like. Kids today are so luck that they'll get to see their videos of their formative years when they become adults.

I no longer have my cassette tapes. Maybe I do, maybe they are somewhere here. I never knew what happened to them. Just like any normal human, I moved on with the evolution of music medium. I listen to music through my CD player, laptop or smartphone. What I do have though, as a tribute to the music era that I love so much, is a cassette tape music box.

Sorry if I fooled you, this is another music box appreciation post, LOL. But this is great I tell you. The cassette orgel was manufactured by Takara Co., Ltd. and was designed by Yasuyuki Moriyama. The orgel mechanism, which is smaller than most music boxes around, is encased in a cassette tape. The spools spin when you wind up the music box, very similar to a real cassette tape when played. This music box plays Akai Sweet Pea by Seiko Matsuda, dubbed as the "Eternal Pop Idol" of Japan. The song was a big hit in the early 80s and was covered nunmerous times by different artists, even Patti Austin!

I'm not sure if I've heard it covered by some of the Jpop artists I know or was featured on any anime but the music song is very familiar. I find it kinda similar to Satou Akemi's (Fushigi Yuugi) Shiawase Ni Naroune.

Because of my attachment to the 80s and 90s, and its cuteness, this is one of my favorite music box.

The Body Remembers - Yuuko Ichihara

I have a confession to tell. But you have to watch the video first before you read on...

When I was in highschool, I was a big fan of Donna Cruz. I followed her music, movies and her TV series (Villa Quintana) up until she got married. Her career went on hiatus and so I moved on. That's the confession hehehe. That was a long time ago. Last year, I received a Snow Globe music box (in accordance to my wishlist) when we had our gifts exchanged during our department's Christmas party. I specifically asked a Christmas snowglobe music box. I love Christmas songs, I was expecting that this item I received plays one, but to my disappointment, no. The music was originally popularized by a Japanese pop/rock band Southern All Stars, a song called "Manatsu no Kajitsu". In 1997, Donna popularized a Filipino rendition of the song called "Isang Tanong, Isang Sagot". Amazingly, I recognized the song very quickly.

I have not listened to Donna's songs for a very long time, but I knew when I first wind up the keys, the music sounded familiar. It's true when they say (or when CLAMP said) that the mind may forget but the body remembers.

Updates, updates!!!

It's time for another round of updates.


Some people decide to cut their hair for a new look, but for me, I do it for convenience. When my bangs start to irritate my eyes, it's a sign, I need a haircut! Ugh!

Yesterday I went to Manila Doctors Hospital to meet Dindee and her husband Benny. She was at the OR doing thyroidectomy, while waiting, I decided to look around at the hospital. I barely recognized anyone, it feels weird. I ran into Dr. Cuayo-Juico, she told me I haven't changed but I gained weight. I need to work out! Ugh!

On the other hand, when I met Benny, he told me I look like a Japanese. Yay!

The other night, my mom and dad went to a Jose Mari Chan concert at Thunderbird resort. I got envious because I'm a JMC fan, I wanted to go too, but I can't because I have work. They took home a signed copy of Souvenirs. Really, I am so envious!

I dropped by at Robinson's Place in Ermita yesterday to buy books. I am loving Jodi Picoult, she's very easy to read, at the same time very moving.

I also bought a copy of Songs for Japan with a hope that Japan recovers as soon as possible from one of its worst crisis. John Lennon's Imagine and Queen's Te O Tori Atte (Let Us Cling Together) makes the album worth buying. The other 35 tracks are not bad either. I highly recommend getting it, if you're in for a good cause and good music.

It's been really quiet these days...

Remembering Francis M

I'm browsing some pictures from archive folders when I saw some Francis Magalona pics. It was a little timing because March 6 is his death anniversary. And believe it or not, my playlist coincidentally played "Kaleidoscope World" while looking at the pictures. I remember these pictures were taken sometime in October 2006, it was an Octoberfest event it Eastwood. He was performing the same song that I'm listening right now. This was the first and the last time I saw him perform.

Francis M. is one of the few Filipino musicians that I really like and I think are talented. He wouldn't be dubbed as the King of Rap if he wasn't. I remember, when he died 2 years ago, I felt sad as a fan and as a Filipino. He was one of the few artists I know that had originality and sense of pride of being a Filipino. And he was cute too. He was 42 when i last saw him, but he looked way younger than that.

It has been 2 years since he passed a way. It was such a loss in the music industry, gone too soon, but his legacy as a musician lives on.

I wasn't gonna blog about this, but because of so many times I've failed to upload this on youtube (thanks to my amazing broadband connection), I've felt that a successful upload (finally) deserves a blog post (and plug) hehehe.

Evangelion is one of the most popular anime of my time, there are tons of merchandise available and thank God music box is one of them. It comes in different variant, this one is the version 2. It is manufactured by Sega and is supposed to be an arcade prized item. The set comes with Asuka and another Rei wearing white one piece suspended in a glass tube. I sell the Asuka figure and also the version 3 (both Rei and Asuka).

Fly Me to the Moon is a popular song by Frank Sinatra. It has different versions by various artists but I have to admit though, that only Evangelion made me love this song.

For some reason, whenever I wind this up, our dog Majinbu barks along. Even when I tried playing the video, he goes barking again -sigh-

Music Box

Here's something that I haven't shared. I love music box! I think it started more than a year ago when my fascination with this 18th century technology started and I don't really know why. I know that I've always loved music box version of some anime songs, but I'm really fascinated with the wind-up movement. That complex mechanism of interlocking cogs, gears and wheels got me locked. In this age of Ipod and digital music, here I am, crazy for an old technology.

I created a youtube account so I can upload some of my collection and hopefully meet other music box enthusiasts. Here's a sample from my collection. Being an anime fan, I tried to limit collecting to anime related music boxes. In Japan, music box is referred to as "orgel". This one is Laputa Castle in the Sky orgel figure that plays the movie's theme song. Please enjoy =).

-sigh-

It's unbelievably cold these days. I honestly prefer cold wheather, but not when I'm sick... and I am. I have cold -sniff- that gives me headache and I still have this recurring toothache that I need to deal with until I decide to go back to the dentist.

And then I have other things going on my head that I wish I'm strong enough to keep on moving on. Welcome to my gloomy February.

Did you know that today is the day the music died? As Don Mclean puts it:

but February made me shiver
with every paper I deliver
bad news on the doorstep
I couldn't take one more step

Dear friends, I am hopeful but I need prayers and hugs...

Have you seen the moon tonight? It's not a full one, but it's unusually BIG and bright.What can I say, it's beautiful! It made my weekend and I thank God for that.

It was a heavy day for me since I made a TOUGH! decision not to go to Glorieta Midnight Toy Fair and Rihanna concert. Realization hit me that I have no right to spend just because. I've been buying this and that, fercrissake I have no place to store them! That I've been promising myself for NNNTH TIME not to buy any toys or comic books until... -sigh- it's hard...it's very hard I swear.

And it's definitely not right wanting to see a concert just because I'm currently addicted to "Disturbia" LOL! I am not a fan of Rihanna or Chris Brown, I'd like to make that clear. Thank God I realized this...

Oh yeah, another reason why I wanted to go to the concert was to try the binoculars I borrowed from Frances. I'm having so much fun using it that I compromised to go to Tanay Dike Lighthouse every morning and convinced myself that I am a... watchamacalit? A look-out? of a pirate ship... whatever, my sister told me that it's just a gossip tool. Now that reminds me, I never thought that my neighbors are... bzzzz...LOL! No, I would never do such a thing. I'll watch out for the next worth seeing concert =)

Rain rain rain...

Yay it's raining. A lot of people hate it because of so many adversities it brings. But what would a light rain do? A surge of mixed emotions fills me specially when I'm alone when it rains dramatically. It makes me want to do a lot of things..

have a hot cup of coffee
make pancakes
listen to slow music
write my journal
write poem
lie in bed all day
day dream dream dream
reminisce... ahh why do good things in the past have to be associated with rain...

but most of all... I want to...

back and ugh!

Now that I finally have time back in my little hands, I suddenly can’t think of anything to talk about. Except that just now I hated my older sister, Pipay, for being such a KJ for changing the radio station and tuned to something that plays contemporary music. C’mon, it’s Sunday afternoon and it ought to be 70’s! And that my brother Oli keeps looking at my monitor. Damn, don’t you hate it when somebody is reading every single word that comes out of your mind? I mean I don’t mind my siblings reading my blog but not when I’m on the process of generating thoughts. It’s annoying that I have to minimize the window whenever he’s at my back!

But anyway, the last weeks were indeed busy for me but it was also a blast that I didn’t notice that Christmas is around the corner… AGAIN! Christmas used to be exciting when I was younger, but now I felt like it’s the time to burn a (BIG) hole in my pocket –sigh- . But it can’t be helped. I loved the feeling of looking forward for presents and celebrating when I was a kid so why won’t I let the kids in my family feel it. After all, I have all the things to be thanked for – a healthy and intact family. AMEN. Money is just a thing that comes, goes and don't worry because it keeps coming back. The smile of a child for this important time of the year is much more important and priceless.
Mom: so why don’t you give your toys to your nephews this Christmas?
Kid: NO! That’s a different issue!!!

Events reports:

The latest one I went to was the 29th Manila International Book Fair. It’s my 4th time in the country’s biggest book fair. Ever since my first attendance I made a pledge to attend every year not because I love books, but because I’m cheap. I’m just after shopping for (good) bargain books and comics which takes less than 2 hours. They have a long program of activities which I never attended because I’m not really onto it.

This year, what do you know, they included cosplay contest and lecture in the program. When I learned of it, all I could ever say in a flat voice was “wow”. My feelings for cosplay have become neutral. I’m still interested in dressing up as an anime character in the future, but I am more than content to be just a spectator by now.

Back to the book fair, aside from manga shopping, what makes this event worth coming are the free bookmarks by exhibitors. I have big use for them I swear. At the SMX lobby, they exhibited popular characters of Philippine literature like Ibong Adarna, Juan Tamad, Tipaklong and Langgam, etc. made of rubber. There are some characters that I didn’t recognize and I suppose that they are from new stories. They are cute though. Too bad my camera is not in good condition anymore. I wish next time there’d be classic komiks on sale, that’d make me feel that “hey, it’s a Phil. Lit. event”.

Eraserheads Reunion Concert:
Okay, I know this is a super late post-facto, but hey, can I say that it’s one of the best concerts I’ve ever been. Honestly, the performance of the group is nothing special to me. In fact, at the onset of the show, it was all over Ely’s face that he’s exhausted and not feeling well. I’m sure a lot of people noticed that. Still I applaud because despite the stress, he still pulled it off. The level of excitement of the people was really moving, it penetrated my bones. The concert was cut short but I do not regret coming. Who knows it might be the last concert of the BEST PINOY BAND ever. The group is very positive for a 2nd round, but will Ely’s medical condition allow it? I’m not being pessimistic here or anything, I just know that heart illness is not something to be taken lightly. Suppose a repeat does happen, I’d still go. My only frustration is that they haven’t performed some of my favorite songs –Maselang Bahaghari, Ang Huling El Bimbo, Magasin, Hard to Believe, Spolarium, Para Sa Masa, Minsan, Tindahan Ni Aling Nena –sigh-

And yeah, I was in the general admission section and we can only rely on big screens to see what's really happening on the stage. But hell, hearing the live performance is enough...

Plays...

I watched an Asian version of Tosca - a Puccini Opera, at PETA Theater last August 29. It's a collaboration of PETA, Black Tent Japan and Nottle Korea. Whenever I'd see operas in movies, they seem old (of course, duh!) and... boring. But I never thought it could be really engaging in live performance or maybe it was because of the modifications -they injected some humor, current issues, pop culture to make it more relevant to Asian audience. I am looking forward to seeing more stage plays, if only it'll be a little cheap.

----

And the other things that made me busy... ugh! I'm back to hikkikomori mode...that's all

Asian College of Science and Technology 2008 Acquaintance Party

My sister works at the said school and she invited me at the said event because they featured Pinoy bands – Sandwich, Imago and Kitchie Nadal. I like Imago so I decided to go but I never thought that the party is anime themed! I was surprised to see there were cosplayers, of course they were students. And that reminded me how common cosplaying had become nowadays. Nagi told me how she hated the idea of cosplay going mainstream and I couldn’t agree less. 8 years ago, cosplay is a new and cool thing that only devoted anime fans did it but now, as anime went mainstream too, cosplaying had become a normal activity for normal people. But as I told Nagi too, there are ways to make you feel it’s as exclusive as ever. For one thing, the cosplayers I’ve seen in the party are very amateur. I had a very hard time identifying the characters considering they are portraying popular anime characters. The colors of their costumes are not very powerful. Plus, they can’t do a skit that would identify them. It’s highly acceptable though since it’s not an anime or cosplay convention. There are so many good cosplayers nowadays but only few justify the characters they portray. Back to the party, I didn’t have to remind myself that I was there for Imago and the cosplay thing was just a bonus. And yes, Imago ROCKS! Woot!!!

When I was watching the cosplay parade though, I realized that it would be wonderful to hold anime conventions on a stadium. It’s big and everyone gets the chance to watch cosplay while sitting. Booths can situate at the flat form, I think that would be fare enough.

Over the years, I feel like the organizers are not very sensitive of the audience’s convenience. The average admission fee for an anime convention is P100 and what do you get? No freebies, no loot bags or whatever. The main attraction of conventions is the cosplay catwalk but even cosplayers are asked to pay the entrance fee. Everything’s done for money, there’s no way you could feel the “from fans to fans” spirit. IMHO…

Eraserheads (finally) Reunite

I just learned that Eraserheads will be reuniting... for ONE NIGHT ONLY, 45 minutes to be exact. On August 30, 2008 at CCP Open Grounds. Now if there's any local band I love, it's Eheads! I think that they are the BEST PINOY BAND EVER. I assumed that every Eheads fan knows that their disbanding rooted from personal reasons, so I never thought they would ever play together again. But now it'll be happening. See, WE SHALL OVERCOME SOMEDAY hahaha (see my previous blog post on Eiga Sai). I am definitely looking forward to this rare event. I've been searching, on how to get tickets. I even signed up at the Marlboro Red List to get the latest updates. If you know if the tickets are already available pls. inform me ASAP.

How Joe Hisaishi made my (early) morning

It’s 3:32 in the morning and I’m really feeling restless from a not so pleasant dream. I stupidly tried bothering people but they are wise enough to ignore… so I end up talking to my best friend - my laptop. I need to calm myself. I browsed my file looking for a powerful music and I just have what I need – Joe Hisaishi!

I’m not really in a position to talk about Hisaishi. My words can never justify the greatness of his music but I’ve always think that his music is one of the great contribution why Miyaki’s films were successful. It’s amazing how the serene and mystic note blend with every scene. It takes my heart and mind with the scene. I don’t need a holographic effect to feel I’m part of the movie. Just now, I’m listening to Piano Stories II: The Wind of Life and I feel like I’m in the spirit bath house that Chihiro worked. Now I feel like sleeping again with a wish of dreaming a Hayao Miyazaki world…-yawn-

Reunion X Eiga Sai X Takoyaki X DVD Window Shopping X Mcdo Happy Meal = Looonnng Saturday

I was surprised when I received a call from Sherry last week informing she already got back from Singapore. Apparently she quit her job due to a conflict with her superior. I was surprised because all along I thought she was having a great time with her job, plus she never informed me beforehand that she’s coming home (duh like I’d prepare something hahaha). Anyway, the first thing I did when I got in touch with her was invite her to Eiga Sai and she agreed in an instant which I find unusual, usually she’d say "I’d think about it" which more often than not means "NO". Yay I smell reunion! I smell chocolates and omiyage!

I anticipated July 13 – Saturday with excitement that I went off very early without realizing traffic is less likely during weekend mornings. I arrived at Megamall as early as 10:30 AM, our call time was 12:00 NN. Damn! I hate being early in mall rendezvous. When I start to get bored, I start to look around and I start to see things I like and I start to spend. Just to share, my favorite quotes for the last 3 months: NEVER BE A LOSER and STOP SPENDING. I immediately informed Sherry to hurry. While waiting for her, I did my best to stay away from toys and comics.

I went to St. Francis Square. I rarely go there, but this place reminds me of Greenhills’ Shoppesville cheap clothes, Cellphones, bootleg toys, Pirated DVDs. These stuffs don’t give me potential to spend. Hold it right there! Did I just say Pirated DVDs??? Oh my, it’s been a long time since I went for DVD shopping and I really missed Quiapo. I looked around to check and reminded myself, "JUST 2-3 TITLES OKAY". The good thing with Anime DVDs nowadays is that you’ll get the whole series in one disc, depending how long the series is. But nothing caught my interest. There are tons of anime titles to chose from, but I guess I’ve really grown up when choosing a title to buy. Before, anime in pirated DVD was RARE so I ended up buying every anime title I saw. And that explains why I bought titles with no subtitles and loose episodes (Houshin Engi Vol. 3, Tokimeki Memorial Vol. 2, etc). So I support pirated DVDs? So what? It’s cheap, that’s why! One thing that caught my attention is that the new DVDs are in blue and red packaging with labels "Blue Ray" and "HD DVD" and I stupidly thought to myself – WTF! So now there are pirated Blue Rays and HD DVDs??? When I asked one of the vendors he told me that they are just "blue ray" copy but the discs are still in regular DVD format. Whew! But it would be good if Blue Ray would be pirated too don’t you think hehehe.

Sherry arrived with no chocolates or omiyage, but I don’t really mind. The first thing I asked was to eat Takoyaki at the food court. There’s this Takoyaki stand in Megamall that I really love – Chito’s Takuyaki. Their takoyaki is the only food that made me eat veggies because they don’t taste like one when they’re inside the takoyaki balls, and Sherry loved it too. She was surprised to see me eat the whole takoyaki without separating the vegetables, really, it’s that damn good. Plus I get to drink my favorite buko shake. It was the best meal I had that week (mom I really miss you) –tears-

At 1:00 PM we started to move to the venue, the Shang Cineplex. We were lucky that we didn’t experience queuing for the tickets. The ticket lady informed us that the screening would start at 2:00 PM. So that gave us time to talk. She told me what happened at work. She now has friends in Singapore and she told me how much she wanted to go back. She started looking for job again through the internet. Then she showed me pictures of her stay there and the conversation went on something like this:

Kid: (looking at the pics on the phone) is this a penguin?
Sherry: Yep!
Kid: How did that happen? They don’t snow in Singapore
Sherry: It’s synthetic of course. Oh yeah, they (Ocean World) housed Polar Bears too. Look!
Kid: No way!!! (looks at the video of a swimming polar bear)… but they’re not cute when they swim, I like them when they’re dry so they’ll have this fluffy look.
Sherry: Oh really…
Kid: Yeah! (raise an eyebrow) BTW, did you see a Panda too???
Sherry: Uhm, no. Unfortunately… I wanted to see one too..
Kid: Hah! As long as you haven’t seen one, I won’t feel envious bwahahahaha! Look I’ve seen one (brags my phone)

Sherry: LOL! Panda your ass! This is not a real one
Kid: Of course it is! LOL!

-sigh- I want to see a real Panda…

The other things we did while waiting for the show to start – drop at Kid’s Station, answer some Kokology, CAMWHORE (this has been a regular activity whoever I'm with hehehe)… Then I saw Neitaro, she never changed. She always have this upbeat energy during events that would make you want to shout "hey" "woi"… Finally, when the show was about to start, I saw Chris but he doesn’t have the ticket yet. He went to get some and we followed him to check - and surprise - Aish and Duston were also there. Wow! Unfortunately, they were not able to get the tickets for the first film. So Sherry and I went ahead to watch the first film – Linda, Linda, Linda!

This film about youth is set in modern-day high school just outside of Tokyo. In the days just before the school’s culture festival, a girl’s music group is facing a dilemma. They planned on playing an original piece of music but, three days before the festival, the guitarist appears to have broken her finger (actually she doesn’t want to break her nails) and an argument breaks out between the vocalist and Kyoko. They need to find a new guitarist and a new vocalist. While the remaining three girls are pondering who to ask to be the new vocalist, they hear the song, “Linda Linda Linda” by the famous Japanese rock band Blue Hearts and decide they want to sing it instead of an original song. A Korean exchange student, Song, is sitting in the next room and they take the chance to ask her to be their vocalist. Her Japanese is not perfect, and she’s never sung in front of an audience, but she just happens to be listening to the Blue Hearts song. They practice and practice but they don’t seem to be improving. They spend a lot of time at Kei’s ex-boyfriend’s studio and at the school practicing late into the night. They are really tired, but a deep friendship develops among the four girls. The night before the festival, they practice late into the night and exhaust themselves. They suddenly wake up the next morning and realize that they are late for the festival. They arrive at the school just as the festival is finishing and perform as the last act. The audience loves them and the four girls play their hearts out.

-taken from Japan Foundation Manila Office (JFMO) Eiga Sai 2008 flyer

At the end of the film, we were both singing Rinda, rinda, rinda! I loved the film. Funny and endearing, this film made me remember my college days again. My favorite scene was when a certain Maki confessed to Son, the way he tried to speak in Korean and Son barely understand what he was saying, then she’d reply in Nihongo. A Japanese speaking Korean and a Korean speaking Japanese. A major BWAHAHAHA! I always find it funny to hear Japanese try to speak other languages particularly Filipino. Here’s a classic line I’ll never forget – tutugutogu kami – the Nitta Oyako saying "tutugtog kami" during their self introduction at the Tsugari Shamisen Play last October 2004, and they said that many times! This film made me want to check Blue Heart’s music, I liked the soundtrack!

When we got out of the movie house, there’s already a line for the next film and the tickets available are for the 3rd film already. I was planning on watching all the four films but it was impossible because by the time you finish the film, tickets for the next film were already "sold out" (admission is free, but for my lack of term hehehe). We queued for the tickets of the 3rd film that lasted an hour because they won’t release them for some reason.

After we got the tickets we decided to eat. I never told Sherry that I was feeling sick due to lack of sleep but at that time, I wanted to have some soup so badly (this is an indication that I’m sick hehehe). I was tight with my budget so I asked her if we could eat at Jollibee because I want their macaroni soup and she agreed. Now that reminds me, 8 years ago we’d go anywhere just to avoid eating at Jollibee hahaha. When we got there, the first thing that caught my attention was the happy meal toys. They featured Inuyasha! I got excited but sherry told me that Mcdo featured Conan Meitantei. I got more excited that I forgot I’m feeling sick. I inspected the Inuyasha toys and I found the details unsatisfactory so I told Sherry, "let’s eat at Mcdo instead hehehe". We both ordered happy meals and Sherry was kind enough to give me her toy. They are not action figures like the Inuyasha toy but a variety of puzzle games. Not bad, I love Conan more than Inuyasha anyway hehehe. I completely felt refreshed after eating and we were ready for the next film –We Shall Overcome Someday.

This film takes place in 1968 in Kyoto, Japan. The background of the film is the turmoil of the 1960s and the relationship between Japanese and Koreans in Japan. The story begins when members of the karate group of a Kyoto high school insult two girls from a Korean high school. A war breaks out when the Korean girls get the boys from their school, led by a boy named Lee Ang-son, to seek revenge. The Japanese boys are reprimanded by their teacher, and two boys, Kosuke and Norio, are told to go to the Korean high school and make a peace offering: to have the two schools play a friendly match of soccer. While they are at the school, Kosuke hears the sound of a beautiful song of Ang-son’s little sister, Kyung-ja, a non-violent, peaceful, 2nd year high-school student who is part of a band. He finds himself drawn to the young girl and the sound of the Korean folk song, “Imjing River.” He steps over the ethnic divide and becomes friendly with Ang-son and his rough-neck gang. Ang-son has plans to go back to Korea and has unknowingly gotten his girlfriend pregnant. Kosuke then find’s himself part of the group until an accident kills one of the Korean boys and Kosuke bears the brunt of the family’s anger. Kosuke begins to understand the anger felt by the Korean community toward the Japanese community through the music and words of the folk song. Ang-son finds out he is going to be a father and realizes he has to grow up.

-taken from JFMO Eiga Sai 2008 flyer

There were also funny and heart warming moments in this film but my general feelings were really heavy. After I watched this film I noticed something. The two films featured Japan-Korea friendship theme. So are these films part of Japan’s attempt to atone for its past mistakes with its neighboring Asian countries. "We Shall Overcome Someday" reminded me that Japan really started it all – all those hatred. I can’t blame those Korean kids for assaulting the Japanese’ high school bus since some Japanese highschool boys started picking on some Korean high school girls. If only the sense of revenge doesn’t exist… But as the title suggests, it also showed how the new generation can make up for the sins of the past. I find Kosuke and Kung-jya’s relationship as a perfect example of hope for a grudgeless truce among warring nations. World peace is still a far fetched dream, but I truly believe that we shall overcome someday. After all, the film concluded with a happy ending.

When we got out (again), I finally saw Chris, Aish and Duston queuing for the next film. We approached them and stayed for a little while. Chris said that film they saw is not really good, it was long and boring (no wonder the 3rd film started late). I informed them about the Anime Matsuri on July 26, JFMO will be showing classic anime Films like Doraemon, Chibi Maruko-chan and The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, but just as I thought, they are well aware of the event. According to Aish, the Doraemon film was heartbreaking but I can’t imagine myself crying at a Doraemon movie hehe. But that’s something to look forward at the end of the month. When the line started to move, we bid goodbye. Sherry and I eventually parted our ways.

It was a long Saturday and it was really tiring but it was fun. As soon as I got home, I slumped in my bed with a happy sigh.

Seeing the Lighter Side of Life

Change is inevitable. Humans are versatile to change, but more often than not, we are unprepared. Because most of time, change doesn’t benefit us AT FIRST. At least for me…

I’ve been a victim of change a lot of times. I hated it. It took me some time, effort and emotional investment to get used to something, only to be taken away by something called CHANGE.

Have you ever heard the song “Constant Change” by Jose Mari Chan? I love that song. It always hits me whenever I hear it. Why oh why… couldn’t we keep time from moving on… and oftentimes when I’m about to call it home, we’d have to move along…

But all this longing for the past have to change. Little did I know that change is best enjoyed when you decide it yourself. Yes folks, I finally decide to take the turn this time. A major change for me is the healthiest decision ever made.

I don’t mean a change of style or a change in taste. It’ll be the same old me. Same old kid who LOVES anime, Japan, toys and… But this time I will THINK DIFFERENT.

A change of perspective, that is.

I’ve been staying home for the longest time ever since I went to college and it really is true when somebody says there’s no place like home. I’m learning and starting to realize day by day that there are so many things around me to be happy about. It’s not as lonely as I thought. I do have a life… here at home.

I can’t believe how such a loser I’ve been the past few years. I was always thinking of my failures and nothing but failures. I created half of my loneliness. I gave up on a lot of things. I wasted a lot of time. But this has to STOP!

It’s not like I’m dying or anything. Life is short but there are still so many things to do, to prove.

I’ll make my dreams come true. I’m gonna show everyone that I am strong. That I am a WINNER. I have to believe that I am born to win this battle.

Some people might think that I am doing nothing important right now, but I am. I have plans. For now I just want to keep this to myself. I don’t want to set any expectations. I don’t want any support this time. This will be my battle ALONE.

I don’t want to be a hypocrite and say I’m over the loneliness. It has always been there. It haunts me every now and then like a phantom shadow especially when I’m all alone. But I’ll be strong this time. I’ll get used to this again. I’ll let HIM carry it for me. It’s time to take things as light as possible. To leave behind what I don’t really have, and enjoy what I have. To enjoy life!

As I’m writing this entry, I’m listening to “Dreams” by Cranberries, and it just feels so light. From now on, I’m gonna love my life. I’m will do my best. I’ll NEVER BE A LOSER. NEVER.